A collection of Poetry by a Teenage Girl

Note #2 To You

Here I am

In a place I never thought I'd be.

In a place

I may say goodbye.

I know this is only letter two

but if I wrote a letter

every time I felt something for you

they would fill my bedroom

spill out the window

and drown me.

So here I am

letter two

ready to say goodbye.

You still cross my mind

but no longer

do I long for you

so much

that it is physically painful.

No longer

do you choke my thoughts.

No longer

do I need to tear myself apart

imagining

you here with me

to be okay.

That is what was wrong.

I absolutely must think of you

because I craved you

because I was so in love with you.

But thinking of you

only caused me more pain

only twisted the knife

inside my heart.

Only made me feel

so lonely

so unloved

so empty.

I want to scream at you

I want to hit you

I want to break your jaw

for how you made me feel

for what it put me through.

And then

I breathe

And I want to thank you

to hug you

put my arms around you

kiss your cheek

for allowing me to feel

like never before.

Now

You do not live in my mind

but in my heart.

You do not strangle every thought

consume every daydream.

You cross my mind.

Stop by for a few minutes

Have a coffee

laugh

and smile as you leave,

waving gently.

You are a happy thought.

You are love.

You made me feel love

by doing nothing.

So I say this:

Thank you

for everything.

The thoughts

dreams

happiness.

I won't forget you for a long time.

You still pop into my head

every now and then

but I do not need you like air anymore.

I simply wonder what you are up to

and hope you're happy.

Hope your relationship is well.

Hope you are healthy.

I've learned love

pain

loss

from you.

I am ready to love you

As the person who showed me love

but not

As the person I am in love with.

I am ready to smile at you.

I am ready to breathe in and out

And care for myself

And love someone

who will reciprocate my feelings.

I no longer ache and die

to know

how you feel about me

think about me.

I will not force you out,

never to let you back in.

I am ready to let you go.

I am ready to move on.

I am ready to say goodbye.

Goodbye.