Legend

Nineteen

NINETEEN

ABOUT A WEEK AND A HALF HAD PAST SINCE THEN. It was about the same situation the whole time: Zxander and Amandla getting closer, (that’s why during the weekends I left them by themselves, at Viola’s, for training) Justin and I … well, we got closer – it felt like it, and I still hadn’t really cracked the code. It was a Tuesday.

The first classes of the day dragged by, and it came to lunchtime. Amandla, typically, sauntered off to Zxander. So, Justin and I had it to ourselves – Portia, as predicted, went to bother some other guy: Caleb, a guy in the grade above us, I think. After finishing lunch, we decided to walk around the school grounds.

We walked by the lockers, where most of the students who weren’t eating lunch were. I recognized a few faces: Jessica and her group, Maria and Colin – the most well-know couple in the school from Higher Senior, and of course, just coming in, Caleb, with the three musketeers draped over him like paparazzi. He was looking into his book, trying to ignore the dancing ballerinas who were trying to get his attention. I felt a pang of pity for him. As Justin and I walked by, Ms. Popular and her minions eyed me disgustedly, while Caleb gave a look that clearly asked for help.

Sorry, Caleb, I thought. Can’t help you. I felt too bothered to do anything.

Justin and I came across a quieter spot in one of the fields and so we sat in the grass and just, well, talked. I felt so nervous about everything happening. It was just, all at once and it was crazy.

“So,” I began, thinking about Hope stuff suddenly. “Do you, you know, like magic?”

“Uh…” Justin hesitated. “What do you mean? Like in books or fairy tales and stuff?”

I wasn’t sure why I was saying this. “I guess. But I mean, do you think it’s possible that, you know, it actually exists?”

“No!” He said, immediately, as if it were obvious. Seeing my expression, he added, “Well, I mean, I think we should clearly separate fantasy and reality, and in reality, well, I think there is no magic.”

“But you know, there are so many things in the world that we can’t understand,” I defended, having actually seen it myself. “Isn’t there a possibility? That there’s something magical, or some deity up there we don’t know about?”

“Sure,” Justin thought around it, “but I think magic, is just so… naïve. It’s just a fantasy. It’s not in our daily lives.”

Oh, I sighed inwardly. Just a fantasy, huh?

…

We had already left our bags in our next class – English. On the way there, we met Amandla, who had seemed a bit dazed herself.

“Hi, guys,” She said cheerily, as she approached us from behind. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much,” I said politely.“You?”

“Oh, umm…” She seemed to hesitate, thinking whether or not to say something. “Well, you know. All the usual.”

We got to English class, and class was just about to start. During class, I just stared into thin air. And then stared at Justin, still thinking about what he said about magic.

The figure I was staring at suddenly rose. When I looked up, I realized that the class was over. I suddenly realized I’d been staring at Justin for the whole lesson. Embarrassment welled up in me as I collected my books and stuffed them in my bag. What was wrong with me?

Next was math. Justin and I were in different math classes. So, the day went by, and then I went to my usual place where I waited for Zxander to finish school. It was just inside the seniors’ department.

He had a short break around three, when we ended school. It’s about fifteen minutes long. I saw Zxander walk around, and then stop. Then I saw Amandla come in. They were close enough for me to hear them.

“Hi, Zxan.” I heard Amandla say. Zxan, I thought. Ooohh. They have nicknames now. Aw… how sweet.

“Hi,” He said, planting a quick kiss on her cheek. Neither of them said anything, but it seemed pretty obvious that they were dating. And I guess I didn’t mind, but for me dating was something else to worry about later. Well, it seemed, probably in a week and a half.

“Hey, I’m going to Viola’s soon.” She said. “Anything you want me to ask her for you?”

“Oh, right. You just reminded me.” He replied. “Can you ask her to maybe give me a plan, to see which exercises I should do, so I could practice by myself?”

“Oh, yeah sure.” She said, as she cocked her head to the side slightly. “Anything else?”

“No, thanks,” He said quickly. And then, as I saw a grin slide in, he added, “Wait, yes. Give me a hug?”

“Of course.” She playfully touched his nose and put an arm around him.

As I saw the two people connect into one in a hug, they whispered a few things. After they stopped hugging, they still spoke a bit to each other. Deciding they should have their privacy – or actually, that it got kind of too gross to listen to – I took out a book and stopped listening, shifting my mind to reading. And then, my mind automatically shifted to Justin instead.

It really felt like a dream. It was a really different feeling, one I’d never had before. I don’t know what made him come to me, but he came to me. And I had wanted this.

Want… my thoughts went to the conference I had with Viola. She said something about want. Think what you WANT. Do what you WANT. It had to be a distraction or a clue. Well, it seemed like a clue, according to what Viola had said. What could any of the Hope stuff have to do with want? I didn’t want to face Atala. I didn’t want to be the one who was to defeat her. Maybe… maybe the boy who made me see things differently would also make me see this mission clearly, like I never had.

But I couldn’t just tell him. He might think I went crazy. He definitely thought of magic as just a fantasy and nothing else. He wouldn’t believe me. Well, Zxander did, but it was because of the souls, and I didn’t really want to scare Justin with the souls. I was afraid that his reaction would be worse than Zxander’s.

“Kristen!” A voice said behind me. It snapped me out of my thoughts. “Come on!”

“Oh,” I said. “It’s… what?”

“It’s already five!” Zxander said matter-of-factly. “I’m done with school. We can go home now.”

“It’s… huh? What was I –” I began.

“You were staring into space with a book on your lap.” He explained. “And I don’t know how long I’ve been calling you. You only reacted just now.”

“Really?” I said as he nodded. “Oh. Sorry.”

As we began walking home, Zxander said, “There’s something different about you. Something… weird. What’s wrong?”

“Oh,” I answered. “Nothing. I was just thinking.”

“But that’s not usually the way you look when you’re thinking. What is it?” He pressed on.

“Well, I’m stressed, okay? Confused.” I replied simply.

“Okay.” He said, slightly more understanding. “It’s the Hope thing, right?”

I nodded.

…

It should’ve been a Thursday when I found it.

I sat at my desk, the talent book open in front of me. The page with the code flipped at me, mocking me. I couldn’t figure it out. Viola hadn’t said much. But what did she say?

Do what you WANT. BELIEVE what you think is right. What did I want the code to be? Something that I could figure out and use. What did I believe it to be? Something that I could use to help me figure out how to defeat Atala. This was going nowhere.

Then I remembered: I wonder how many PAGES are in the book?

Pages… I thought. And I looked at the book. Numbers… Pages… numbers… Page numbers! That’s it! These numbers were page numbers, weren’t they? Page numbers of the book!