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Chapter 2: Just Keep Breathing!

                "I know, I know the pain, the frustration that it feels like going through crap in like. My life in the begging when I was little was the best, I lived in a world full of roses. Out of nowhere everything turned upside down and it just wasn't the greatest. Turns out I lived a fairy tale all my childhood and it hurt me when I opened my eyes. It was the worst, I went through depression so I know. I know what it feels like to be drowning and feeling your chest so tight that you can't breath, but I just want to let you know that everything will be alright at the end. Everything is under control. Just Breath!"

                Bullying; is any type of physical or physiological abuse inflicted by another person. Victims usually feel intimidated, anxious, depressed, lonely, insecure and many others. A person does not have the right to make you feel this way about yourself. You are a person who is worth a life; a person who should be respected just like any other. Usually this is nothing but a cycle, being bullied leads to being a bully. 

                We should create consciousness all around the world; people who suffering bullying don't speak up and most of the time turn to the worst solutions of them all suicide. A persone should never have to think suicide is an open solution to your problems. I mean everything ends for you but that pain will forever be inflicted on your family members. Having family feel like they could've done something if you only spoke about is not an option either.

                You have the right to stand up for yourself. Never let anyone tear down you self-love, hopes and dreams. You are loved.

                I was just starting to get over the situation that happened with my cousin. My parents decided to move to Florida, and I thought what better way to get over what happened than moving away from the person that caused me so much pain. When we moved everything was beautiful, everything was like a dream come true. I thought everything was finally over, I reunited with my dads family, my nightmares finally went away. I thought I was gonna be happy; I was wrong once again.

                I was wrong to even let that thought invade my mind. When I started middle school in FL I had no friends. I was staring from scratch and to be honest I was never good with making friends. When I left Puerto Rico I knew English so I understood everything people used to say about me. I started to get bullied, not only because I was hispanic but because they thought I didn't understand them. That just gave them a motive, I even received death threats in school. I told a counselor and that didn't help at all. The whole thing lasted a year.

                Throughout the situation I made one friend, one of those people that you instantly "click" yeah that was her, that person that you just know they are meant to be in your life. My Honeyboo, she is so special to me. She helped me through so much. When I started 8th grade year, everything seemed to be under control or so I thought. The bullying somehow it kind of stoped, but their words will forever be engraved in my mind. It  wasn't something that it just easily could be erased. I realized I was depressed. You know that feeling of unhappiness, never being good enough. Not only did I suffer from that but also from low self-esteem. People used to point out my body and my flaws to make fun of me. So I just couldn't get over it so quickly, and that's ok. It started to affect my eating habits so badly that if I used to eat once a day it was a lot. I barely eat solid food, everything was about drinking water and juices. My parents never noticed or so I think because they thought I used to eat breakfast and lunch in school. Around February I found myself making my way into my first relationship. I really thought I loved him, turns out I was only confused and he was with me to get over his ex-girlfriend. I was still depressed at this point, so 2 months into the relationship he found out about everything. He told me he couldn't deal with any depression in his life so he broke-up with me. I didn't cry over him, and in that moment I realize I never loved him.

                Months later I found I got into a medical program at Royal Palm Beach High School. I got my grades where they should've always been, all A's. Everything was finally settling down, but I was still depressed. I was still unhappy, I stoped doing everything that I liked sports, singing, writing, I even stoped going to church which was my passion. So I drowned myself in studying, and reading which was the only was that I could escape my reality. I lost myself so far into the books that everything just seemed to go away whenever I was reading and nothing else mattered at the time. 

                Bullying is not something you should take for granted. Bullying is one the reasons why teenagers are committing suicide to this day. Is not only bullying in school but also on social media. Sometimes we don't see the impact that our words can have on somebody. Bullying takes away about 4,400 lives per year. If you are suffering from bullying, don't ever think suicide is the answer. If you are having suicidal thoughts reach out for help. Let's try to make a conscious on this society, and make them understand that their acts do have consequences. I survived bullying. Lets work together so no one else has to declare this sentence ever again. Let them know that bringing someone else down will not help you reach the top. Love yourself because at the end loving yourself is the only thing that does matter. Just keep breathing.