𝐒𝐄𝐀 𝐆𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐒. rin matsuoka

1 | frost blue

秋山 寛
HIRO AKIYAMA

The first letter he sent to me reminded me of how clumsy he was, how desperate he was to keep our little promise.

Dear Hiro,

Dis is Rin Matswuoka! Mama said it wud be nwice if we rote letters to eech oder becas ur so far away. So I made one for u. Imma keep writing every mont until we see each other next sumer. (Translation: This is Rin Matsuoka! Mama said it would be nice if we wrote letters to each other because you're so far away. I'm gonna keep writing every month until we see each other next summer).

—Rin

Every time I read it, it always makes me chuckle at the thought. But then again, the atmosphere turns heavy as soon as I am reminded that this was nothing but another memory in the past. Another one of the letters in the box I've kept hidden.

The Rin Matsuoka now was a Rin Matsuoka I didn't know.

He was no doubt a stranger, as if he forgot about the most important promise we ever made.

On the summer of our first grade, we met each other. He started writing letters ever since. No matter how clumsily it was written, I was more than happy to receive them.

On the summer of our second grade, we found ourselves a little hide out: an abandoned light house that was old but fairly clean. We brought a couple of random things any kid would've thought off. Glow in the dark stickers, fairy lights, blankets, pillows and toys, lots of toys. Rin always brought his swimsuit and I always brought a cheap digital camera my grandfather bought for me.

It started with a hobby. Taking photographs of the sea, the seashells, the skies. The next thing I knew I've made albums I yearned to show him.

It started with a hobby. Swimming in the sea and playing around together. The next thing I knew, at sixth grade he plans to move to Australia to enroll into a swimming school.

It started with a hobby. Two kids playing together doing what they like. Until passions turned to dreams and dreams became something we chased around.

It was funny how small things turned big, and how he's changed so much.

On the summer of our third grade, he brought me to his house. He introduced me to Gou, his sister, as well as Sousuke Yamazaki, a friend of his from Sano Elementary School.

On the summer of our fourth grade, we learned what passion meant, and we realized what our dreams were.

On the summer of our fifth grade, we saw each other for the last time. He saved me when I almost drowned in the river. He taught me what liking someone felt like.

On the summer of our sixth grade, he called me for the first time. It was the summer I couldn't return to Iwatobi. And yet, over the phone he told me about how he planned to go to Australia during middle school. And right then I made him swear.

「Don't forget me」

It was something out of a dream. The moments we've spent together. The laughter, the fun, the memories. But now it was as if they didn't mean a thing anymore.

▬ ▬ ▬ ▬ ▬ ▬ ▬ ▬

It was our first year in high school that I stayed in Iwatobi for good. I was attending Iwatobi High School. My grandfather passed away the winter of my second year in middle school. It was when my grandmother collapsed that my mother believed it would be best if I was there to take care of her. It was easy to adjust to life in the province. Rather, living with parents that barely came home prepared me for everything for whatever housework I had to bear with.

"You rest easy, okay, grandma?" I told her, setting breakfast on the table. It was the spring of our second year in high school, I was just about to head out to school.

"Hiro" she calls my name, and looks at me anxiously.

"Hm?" I turn to her, wondering what could possibly have her worry.

"I hear that Matsuoka-kun is back in Japan for good" she informs me.

I almost stopped doing what I was doing as soon as I heard his name.

"Did you finally get in touch?" my grandmother asks.

"Grandma, I told you. We were friends but not anymore" I answer as politely as I could, removing my apron along with my hair tie, as I grab my school bag to head towards the entrance.

"Love you" I tell her as I wear my shoes to head out to school.

"Love you too, dear" she tells me with a warm smile.

I walk past the riverside's bridge as I come to recall all the memories we've spent together.

"Rin, huh?" I think out loud. "Who would want to meet that liar?"

Right.

That's what he was. The boy who stopped writing letters after the winter of our first year in middle school. The boy who didn't even bother speaking to me at the day of my grandfather's wake. The boy who broke our promise.

'Liar' I sighed at the thought, recalling the way we met that winter night.

"I'm sorry for your loss" I could vaguely hear the sound of his mother's voice as I walk towards him.

"Rin" I call his name but he turns away from me to tell his mother that he'd be outside.

Sure, losing a loved one hurt like hell. But having another person you cared for ignore you when you needed them the most. It was another punch in the gut.

"Hi-chan" the younger Matsuoka looked at me.

Their mother turned to me anxiously. "There, there, Hiro-chan. Maybe Rin is shy, that's all. It's been years since you saw each other, after all."

But right then I knew it was bullshit. Something in me knew it was over the moment he stopped writing the letters. But at the same time, something in me was naive enough to think that maybe seeing him would change anything. How stupid I was to have thought that.