PRIDE | Book 1 of the Seven Sins Saga (Ongoing)

1 - "Even they could tell she was better than me."

Please don't be home.

Please don't be home.

I repeated the mantra in my mind as I quickly climbed the steps up to the immaculate stone mansion that I'd called home for almost the last seventeen years. Praying that my oh-so-loving parents weren't home, I twisted the knob, pushing the door open as quietly as I could.

I held my breath, listening for a creak or something equally awful to give away my presence. It wasn't that I was scared. I wasn't scared. My parents, though very strict and unforgiving, were never scary to me. I just couldn't stand to be in the same room with them.

As I pushed the door farther open, revealing the empty but elegant foyer, I breathed a sigh of quiet relief. There was no one home. Again.

Feeling confident that I had the space to myself, I closed the door behind me and made my way to the kitchen. When my parents were gone, they would always leave a note on the counter in the kitchen, as if that little piece of parchment somehow forgave them for not even telling me they were going to be gone in the first place. It was okay that they abandoned their daughter, sometimes for weeks at a time, because they always left a note telling where they went...

Sure enough, there was a single sheet of paper on my mother's monogrammed stationary waiting for me on the kitchen island.

Kaylee –

Your father and I have a conference in New York tonight. We won't be flying back until late tonight. Use your credit card to order dinner. Do your homework.

Madison Lynn Davis

She always signed her name like that. She never liked me to refer to her as 'mom'. It made her feel old, she said. I sighed but was ultimately unsurprised by the lack of emotion in my mother's note. My mother was unfeeling. She had been since my older brother died. Mack held all their love when he was alive and when he died, he took their love with him, leaving me nothing but a pair of cold, unloving parents who wished I didn't exist.

Crumpling the note up in my fist, I turned and tossed it toward the trashcan. The lid was closed, so it merely bounced right off, falling to the floor. I shrugged, leaving it where it was before turning to escape to my room.

After a quick shower and a change of clothes, I lay flat on my bed holding my phone up over my face as I scrolled through my social media. Pictures and posts from my classmates passed across the screen. I never felt like I fit in with any of them. I usually kept to myself, doing as little as possible to warrant attention.

I used to try. I used to try really hard to be involved, to have friends, to have a life. I won't lie – the main reason I tried was to get my parents to appreciate me. But they didn't. If anything, my need for them to pick me up or take me to volleyball practice or to my friends' houses seemed to bother them even more. So I gave all that up. I had to.

My phone buzzed in my hand, a message alert popping up on the screen, distracting me from the mundane posts of my peers.

I'm having a party. Tonight. I thought you should know.

It was from my former best friend, Lily. We used to be really close, but I always felt overshadowed by her. She was always better than me at everything. She wasn't vindictive about her accomplishments and strengths, but it still stung every time a boy would look at her and not me, or when she became volleyball captain, instead of me. She was always better. I could see it my parents' eyes when they looked at us together. Even they could tell she was better than me. So I pushed her away, too.

It was weird that she was texting me now. We hadn't spoken in a couple months, at least. Maybe occasionally at school, but nothing like this.

Why? I sent her the quick response before I could talk myself out of it. I knew I probably shouldn't even reply, but it was so out of the blue...I was curious.

Hardly a minute went by before she responded:

It's our birthday.

I stared at the words, my stomach twisting. It was true. My seventeenth birthday was tomorrow. Lily's was today. We had always celebrated together. But things were different now. Surely she didn't expect us to still celebrate together...

Please come.

I sighed and closed my eyes. She was practically begging me to come. I mean, to anyone else it might look like she was just being polite, but I knew Lily. She wanted me there. And I wanted to be there. But I didn't want to be there as me. It would be so out of my comfort zone to go to a party with my classmates. If only I could go and not be myself, then it would be okay. Or at least manageable.

That wasn't what Lily needed though. She wanted the real me to be there. The old me. The happy me. The me that wasn't a worthless person. That's all I was to anybody anymore. Worthless.

I'll come by for a minute. I texted her quickly, dropping my phone on the bed and turning to my closet.

Only a minute, I told myself. In and out. A 'hi' and a 'goodbye.' And that's it. It would be the last act of kindness I needed to give Lily. Sort of an apology for dropping out of her life and blaming all of my insecurities on her. It wasn't her fault she was perfect. It was my fault for not being perfect enough.

I could give her this last act. She probably needed it as much as I did.