Disturbing Sanguinity

Epilogue: Side To Side

 "STOP!!!"

Beam jolted awake. His blood rushing through his veins, coming in and out of his heart like it was the very meaning of rush hour, uneven breathing almost hyperventilating. Drenched in sweat as if he had run a marathon at noon while it was in the middle of summer that even with the air-conditioning was fine, he felt hot and suffocating. Duvet was pushed away from his body revealing his sweaty physique totally removing his soaked shirt afterwards.

He cupped his face with his trembling hands trying to understand what just happened. Beam forced himself to make his breathing normal after emptying the bottled water on his side table. Water always calm him but it seemed that it was not enough for what he had encountered for the night.

Beam remembered going straight to bed after finishing some paper works that were due tomorrow even drinking his glass of milk to make it up for the caffeine that he had taken for the day hoping to get a better sleep.

But better sleep was not he got.

It was a fucking nightmare. It was not scary like what he had in his childhood days, like monster crawling under his bed - typical ones, it was not that but it was disturbing as hell. Disturbing enough for him to be awaken with his heart wanting to go out of his ribs.

Soon after, scenarios rapidly flashed in Beam's mind causing it to ache. In it, Forth was standing in front of him with a solemn face. He was just there staring down at him with his eyes telling how much he loved him. He remembered the feeling of wanting to cross the distance and go to him but his arms and feet were bounded by chains. The words wouldn't come out of his mouth as his voice was taken away from him.

He couldn't apprehend what was happening in his nightmare but he was struggling. His body moving on its own, but every time he forced to gain back the control, the Beam in his dreams would do the opposite. It was as if in one body there were two of them. And all Beam could do was to stare at the love of his life and watch him be melancholy for unknown reason he couldn't decipher.

Forth, in his nightmare, then knelt in front of him as he muttered words he was very familiar with. It was the same three words the man beside him, sleeping peacefully, would always say to him no matter what time it was as long as he felt saying it. There, Beam wanted to return them to make the sadness in the nightmare's Forth's eyes disappear but the power of his voice was taken. He wanted to reach him and caress him yet his hands couldn't.

The man in his nightmare was the kind of Forth he would never allowed to be.

Alone.

Lost.

Miserable.

Longing.

Lonely.

Unloved.

Beam loved Forth too much he couldn't bare to watch him but the memories of his nightmare continued to play.

"I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, my Beam." The slight tanned man said. Beam was yet to grasp what was happening and what Forth was talking about. "You'll be okay now since I'm here now Beam."

"Of course I will be! We're together!"  While recalling, Beam answered in his thoughts as he was denied to be vocal about it.

Forth then approached him and started caressing his face. Touching his cheeks, his eyes, his lips, the same gestures Forth loved to do whenever they were facing each other.

But Beam was very wrong when he thought it was the same because of the horror that filled his mind when he saw the crippling tiny worms and insects on Forth's hand moving very alive and well fed. Beam wanted to throw up very bad for why would Forth had them but when he saw and realized where they were coming from, he wanted to faint instead.