Others

A Day With The Others

                                                

The same old start of the day began. I could feel the vibrations from my phone and hear Flowers On The Wall by Eric Heatherly playing softly. I don't want to get up. I groaned and grabbed my phone. Once I turned off my alarm I checked my notifications. I was looking for something specific, I didn't find it though. No special texts from my best friend. I let out a sad sigh and rolled off of my bed.

I woke up as Wybie, as myself. Qp was also up but that wasn't a surprise. Colby was stretched out on the ground a few feet away still sleeping heavily. Sweetpea was curled up with her blanky and a dinosaur pill next to him. As I got up to go to the bathroom and take care of my rabbit Qp tried to wake Colby and Sweetpea up. Loops and Bear normally don't sleep in the black box but I guess that's okay. I don't necessarily know how but I'm able to function and do things while being able to see the others in the black box. "What do I wear today guys?"

"DINOSAUR SHIRT!" Screeched Sweetpea.

"Okay, okay calm down." I replied while grabbing Sweetpea's dinosaur shirt from my closet.

"Put my sweatshirt on and leave me alone," Colby mumbled still half asleep. "And don't forget to put on the leggings that make your ass look nice."

"You look great Wybie now go wake your brother up." Qp smiled and I knew he was planning the day out silently.

I grabbed my backpack and made sure I had everything before heading for the stairs. My brothers bedroom was right next to the stairs which was nice. I opened his door and did my normal wake up call until I heard a sleepy okay. I then walked into the living room and let Ruby out of her cage. She immediately ran to her food bowl and I filled it with a chuckle. She devoured it and ran to the door. She did the same exact thing every morning and I love it. The rest of the morning was spent watching Spongebob until my alarm went off again. The Drug In Me Is You by Falling in Reverse went off every morning at 6:40. I put my shoes on and tell Ruby to kennel up. All of the sudden I can feel myself slipping away, getting pulled into the black box.

It is me Colby. The best of the others is out to start the school day. I walked out in the cold to meet two of my neighbors. Those assholes are so annoying. This is why I'm always here in the morning. I make sure everyone leaves me the fuck alone. I hate going to school but I'm the only one in this body who can successfully keep up the fuck off vibe. I guess Bear has that vibe too but he can't come out. He hates us and he'd probably try to kill us. He also makes us feel weird. Every time he's out we black out and don't remember anything when we get back. He also shuts down all his emotions so that when he goes back in we feel oddly numb and it's hard to get over. I sat down in an empty seat on the bus and instantly curled up to take a quick nap.

I woke up at the middle school as all the younger kids got off. Ughhhhh just a few minutes and I'll be at the highschool. I closed my eyes for a few more minutes until I knew we were close to stopping. I shot off of the bus and enjoyed the cool air as I walked towards the front doors. As soon as I opened the door I was surrounded by early morning chatter and people aimlessly walking around. I walk quickly to my first hour trying to ignore all the people staring and whispering about me. I don't know what I did but 90% of this school hates me. I guess that's okay though because I hate this school as well.

I found my seat in my first hour and pulled out my phone. I had half an hour to sit and look at memes on my phone. Mt thoughts took over quickly and all I could think about was how this isn't my body. I'm not female. I am not this short. I am not this curvy. I am not this ugly. My voice is not this high. This is not me. I am not this person. But then again none of us are. Not even Wybie and he owns the body. I only have to feel dysphoria when I'm in control but he has to feel it always and I feel before him. Bing.. Bing.. Bing. The bell rang in the middle of my breakdown. Thankfully I could feel Qp taking my place.

Spanish time. The class sucks but I want to be bilingual so bad. Memorizing words is easy which makes the class kinda easy but the teacher hates me and so does most of my class. Hopefully I can get away with just working alone. The idea of my second hour will keep me going. I can see Wybie smiling at the thought of how nice and accepting his English teacher is. If Colby hadn't left the black box I bet I'd be watching him drool over her. I can't wait for Spanish class to be over.

Finally second hour and I'm back out. Too bad nobody knows I'm Colby. The teacher will find out in good time. She started having us do journal entries where we rant and of course I've mentioned us. I don't know why but I trust her so much. I love how she lets me sit alone in the corner next to her desk. I love how it gives me more opportunities to talk to her or even just admire her as she works. I sound like a creep but I promise I just love her like a sibling or something. One time she was super excited and she turned to me and she told me how happy she was because she was treating herself by buying a coffee and it warmed my heart.

Second hour went so quickly. Geography class is next and I also really enjoy that class. The teacher is hella woke and is a very respectable man. We got to play a game where we got to make our own countries and it was great. The only downside is having to be by people I don't like but whatever. I zoned out right away falling into my normal spiral of bad thoughts. I'm not even a real person and I'm suicidal. Wtf is life? I feel uneasy. Something bad is about to happen. Before I could try to focus again everything went black.

Math class. I'm in math class. When did I get in math class? I feel numb and confused. Clearly Bear had taken over. At least I don't have to feel heartbroken for awhile. I know he was technically Wybie's boyfriend but I miss him so much. I know Wybie wants him back too but I don't think he realizes how much I cared about him. Colby thinks I'm crazy and I can't talk to any of the others because they don't understand and I don't want to talk to Wybie about it. I'd do anything to get him back. He doesn't want me though. He wanted Wybie and rarely knew when I was talking to him. He might not even want Wybie anymore. I can't turn my thoughts off but at least I'm too numb to feel. I opened my notes packet and began rapidly solving problems.

Lunch is stressful. There's so many people and most of the time the food sucks. I also have to sit at a table with a girl I don't like. I do get to sit by my friend Dad (not their real name) who is the only friend I've made at highschool. Sadly she is two years older than me so we don't see eachother often. I also get to see Shorty (again not her real name). She's an exchange student from India and she's supposed to be in my grade but she was placed into 12th grade because she's really smart. I grabbed my lunch and sat down preparing myself to act like Wybie.

I got pissed at lunch and came back out. I then slept through the rest of math class and pretty much all of physics. Classic Colby. The bus ride was alright. I sat and spilled tea with this one girl. I enjoy our talks. I am so happy to be home though. Now Sweetpea and/or Loops can come out. I layed down in my pile of stuffed animals and let Sweetpea take over. I crawled over to my laptop and turned on Moana. Moana is my favorite. I curled back up and watched Moana while singing along. I love getting to be out so I can watch Moana. It never lasts long though.

As soon as the movie finished I forced myself out. I don't normally get to be out because of how crazy I am. I guess that's how I got the name loops. I turned on some music and began jumping around. I don't know how to dance but that doesn't stop me. I especially love it when I'm on a hard surface and my feet make that nice tapping sound. I think the others would be happy if they allowed themselves to just jump around to some good music. Today was an okay day.