Page Numbers

5- Xander

Crrrrreeeeeaaaaaaakkkkk.....

He's here.

I quietly ran into my room hoping he hadn't seen me.

Silently, I closed the door, tiptoeing over to my bed, silently slipping inside and pretending to be asleep.

"XAYNNNDDUUHHhhhh....", He slurred drunkedly. I closed my eyes and laid as still as possible, hoping that he would leave me alone for once. Of course, that never happens.

He threw open my bedroom door barging into my room, "Hey Xandy," he said menacingly, "I know you're awake, come on get up." He moved closer to my bed, watching me as my heart pounded in my chest. I could smell the alcohol in his breath and the smell of cigarettes covered his clothes, and he had a look of pure evil on his face.

"Come on little bro, it's just me."

I started shaking my heart I my throat, completely petrified. I felt sick to my stomach knowing he shouldn't be able to do this, but yet he did. Slowly, his expression changed, from smiling evilly to menacing to annoyed then to full on I'm-going-to-tear-out-your-throat.

"Get up." He yelled moving closer.

I just stayed as still as possible.

"Get up now, I won't hurt you... much."

I slowly opened my eyes, knowing that I had no choice, and sat up in bed, taking in his full appearance. His red checkered flannel shirt hung off his muscular frame loosely covering his nirvana shirt. Other than his clothing he, sadly, resembled me closely. His dark brown hair was long with a fringe swooped to the side, and his almost black eyes had a look of pure evil in them. He gave me a menacing half smile and walked over to me slowly.

Sadly, this wasn't the first time I had been in this situation, it happened quite regularly actually, and I knew that I needed this to stop. After the accident, he took custody of me as my legal guardian being 18 at the time, everyone thought he was being so charitable and nice letting me stay with him, but I knew better.

"Y-you c-c-can't hurt me." I tried to say confidently but failed miserably.

"Don't talk to me like that, don't you know what happens when you talk to me like that?"

My eyes flashed with fear and he smiled knowing he had won, "Because, I really don't think you do, maybe I need to teach you again..."

"N-n-no th-th-that's ok-k-kay," I stuttered moving further backwards in my bed.

'Come on Xander be a man', I thought, 'What would Mum and Dad want you to do in this situation?' I imagined them right there with me, "Stand up for yourself son," I imagined him saying, "You can't let him push you around like this. Stand up and fight!" I saw Mum put her hand on his shoulder as if to tell him to calm down, "Take care of yourself Xander, we don't want anything bad to happen to you." She said smiling sadly, "Be strong Xander." I saw her say before they both disappeared from my thoughts.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, having taken some confidence from what I imagined my parents would say, I was ready to run at the next thing that set me off. I focused on all my angry, sad, frustrated emotions and let them take over, giving me strength and really making me angry, 'Forget about your fear,' I thought, 'Fear doesn't exist, you are strong and confident, you can do anything.'

When I opened back up my eyes, he was looking at me amused, "Oh you really are a useless pathetic thing aren't you. Haha, wow already freaking out." He started laughing a menacing, evil laugh.

"Stop it" I said focusing on all my anger.

His face lit up like he had found another thing to torture me about, "Oh you managed not to st-st-stutter for once hey?" I could feel it coming, I was ready to be set off by the smallest of things.

"I'm not afraid of you." I said actually believing what I was saying.

"Oh brother, you just never learn do you." And that was it, I was done putting up with all of this.

"You have NO RIGHT to call me 'brother' we will NEVER be 'brothers'", I yelled, catching him by surprise, I ran straight forward, ramming him with my shoulder before running out of my room, then out the door of my house.

I heard his footsteps behind him but was too far away for him to catch me without causing suspicion.

"You idiot", he called, "when you come crawling back, it's all just going to be even worse, you'll regret leaving!"

I just kept running.

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"You can't escape me, I'll always be here, watching, waiting. You're completely useless you know? You can't do anything without me, oh how dumb you are for running away. No matter where you are I will always find you." He smiled at me, and all I could see was pure evil.

"I- I'm not u-useless, and I d-d-don't need you." I said pathetically.

He just smiled and laughed at me, "W-w-what was that brother? You're st-st-stuttering?" He practically fell over he was laughing so hard, "You can't even back-answer me." He smiled, "Oh, come on, when are you finally going to turn into a man?" He started to move forwards. I tried to back away, but I realised that there was a wall behind me, "Until then, why don't we have a little fun?"

My eyes widened in fear as he moved closer and closer, "N-n-no. P-p-p-p-please st-stop." He smiled and reached for my neck-

I screamed and woke up in a cold sweat, falling on the ground in the process. I was hyperventilating and couldn't calm myself down. I closed my eyes 'It's just a dream, don't worry it's just a dream' I thought to myself. 'Maybe he was, right. Maybe I'm not cut out to stay on my own. Wow I really am usel-' NO, I haven't came this far to give up, I haven't gone through this for me to fall back into his trap. I cleared my mind of all thoughts and tried to just focus on what was around me.

When I was calmed down and could think I straight, I became aware of a thumping pain in my back where I had fell. 'Why is the ground so hard? Where did I sleep last night?' I opened my eyes and realised that I was on the sidewalk, next to a park bench. I sighed, lifting myself up and brushing myself off. I stood up and sat back on the bench realising it was still late at night, or early in the morning. I contemplated getting some more sleep but decided that I was way too worked up now, I looked around completely bored when a shop across the street caught my eye.

It was obviously quite run down, and didn't look like many people went there very often, the sign above read "BOOKIT". At one point the sign must have shone brightly but now only the B, O , K, and T lit up. You could see that most of the tiles on the roof had long since fallen off, and the once bright green paint on the walls was peeling. The front of the store was covered in old posters, faded and falling off, but the thing that stood out most to me was the "Open 24 hours a day 7 days a week" sign on the front of the door. I thought about it for a second, but something seemed to be drawing me closer and closer to the store, like it was calling to me.

I got up off my chair and walked across the street going inside.