Page Numbers

11- Xander

I walked through the park with my head down, and tried to act as teenager-that-doesn't-want-to-talk-to-anyone-or-associate-with-human-life-in-general as possible, pulling the look together by continuing to kick a stone along the dirt pathway as I walked along. I came to a stop at a giant oak tree that seemed to mark the end of the path and sat down, lying against it. I looked around, envious of everyones lives; simple, joyful, without a care in the world. On my left, in the distance, was the playground, bustling with 5 year olds running, jumping and scaring the living daylights out of their parents. I looked on curiously, as a little girl (maybe 4 years old) was skipping along the sand under the slide when she tripped over. She fell down and immediately burst into tears, I watched as her Mum and Dad immediately ran to her side, picking her up and hugging her as she cried. Her Dad ran over with a bandaid and pressed it over the non-existent graze on her elbow before pressing a little kiss over it to make her feel better.

I looked away, realising that tears had began to form in my eyes and told myself to suck it up and be happy that the kid didn't have to go through what I'd been through. I'd never had a proper childhood, my Mum and my Dad weren't exactly the best parents in the world, and my Brother... well, I don't even want to start on him. Stop it Xander, these thoughts are no good for you, think about something else; ANYTHING else. How about that girl you met, she was pretty cute. What was her name again? Katherine? No, shorter than that... Katie? Yeah, Katie or Kat for short. Even just thinking her name gave me chills, she was gorgeous, and WAY out of my league, why she like an idiot like me. I'm just a freak, a stupid, ugly, ignorant, freak, who can't do anything right, and can't do anything for himself, why don't I just kill myse-. I stopped myself before it could get any worse. I cringed felling a sharp pain in my arm and looked down to realise that I had been digging my fingernails through my skin. I sighed, it's sort of a force of habit by now, and I just can't stop myself; I know I should I just can't.

I stood up, sitting here was giving way to much time to think, and with me, thinking was never good, and some people strolling through the park were starting to stare. I guess I did look pretty suspicious, my shaggy brown hair matted against my head, black My Chemical Romance t-shirt and ripped skinny jeans looking all sweaty and crumpled, and not to mention my black converse, faded, and practically falling off my feet. I guess my face was looking even worse than it normally does as well from a lack of sleep and just the stress I've been under. I started walking, I didn't know where I was going I just let my feet take me wherever they wished.

Now was time to think logically, where was I actually going to go and what exactly was I going to do. The park was in a very good neighbourhood, full of all the matching houses with white picket fences; it made me sick. Where could I go, think Xander think: There's home but that's obviously not an option. What about Zeke's? I mean we're friends, right? Surely he would let me stay over... except for the fact that the last time we spoke was in second grade. I could just sleep on a park bench, or in a bus stop like last time. No, that's just horrible and last time it gave me a painful crick in my neck. There's always Kat? No, we just met as if she would let me stay over. I stopped in my place, thinking painfully hard when I remembered, "The treehouse!" I yelled, immediately slapping my hands over my house and looking around me to make sure no one had heard that. To get to the treehouse I first would have to actually know where I was, I ran to the end of the street where I could see the vague outline of a street sign saying, Ponteen Avenue. Ponteen Avenue, hey I'm not even that far away!

I began to walk.

***

"Ow!" I yell wincing as I scrape my leg on a nail jutting out the side of one of the boards on the house. I was climbing up a make-shift ladder on the side of a tree on top of which lay the treehouse. When I was about 9 or 10, circumstances caused me to... explore the woods near my house. It was a dense forest thick with trees of all shapes and sizes, the treetops blocked any view there might have been of the sky above, and echoes of birds surrounded me. I was wandering around the outskirts of the forest when I noticed a trail of sorts hidden behind one of the bushes, me being the curious idiot I am, completely forgetting about the fact that the trail may have been made by a serial killer, decided to follow it and see what happened. It seemed to go on for miles, and I started to think it might just be a hikers trail when I saw it. Up ahead was an old wooden treehouse. I climbed up eager to explore, and got a good look at the interior. It was much larger than I had first thought, appearing to have various rooms spanning across several trees. It looked like it hadn't been used in years; rotten floorboards, broken windows, and walls that looked as if they could break with one single touch... But to 9 year old me, it was paradise.

I climbed up to the top looking in at the house I had spent so much time restoring. Since then I had made some modifications; redone the floorboards, replaced the windows, and even added some furniture to make it more homely. Now, a nice green couch sat against the wall and a lamp sat in the corner of the room, in front of the couch was a wooden coffee table, and against the other wall sat a bookshelf. I walked over to the bookcase wiping away the dust, it had been a while. I then went into the "kitchen" which was more or less a little table I'd found, a couple of chairs, and a mini fridge which I'd managed to hook up to a generator in the bedroom. The bedroom wasn't all that impressive, just a frame I'd managed to make out of some metal I'd found on the side of the road, and some old mattress that was too small for my brother covered in some old blankets of his as well. I'd placed a small table next to the bed and it had a couple of draws I'd slipped some clothes into in the case of an event like this. I lifted up my arm, smelling myself, and I crinkled my nose in disgust. Man I needed a shower, desperately. Luckily, I'd planned for that as well and had made my own rainwater tank at the side of the house which I had a hose attached to to work as a makeshift shower thing and to give me fresh water. I quickly stripped and washed myself down, I couldn't use too much water because I actually needed some of it to drink. Once I was done, I went back inside lying down on the bed completely exhausted. Before I knew it, I was fast asleep...

***

The next morning I woke up my stomach aching. I need food. I slunk out of bed rubbing my eyes and opened the mini fridge only to find that it was completely bare, "Seriously?" I hadn't ate anything for almost a week now and it was starting to catch up on me, I had practically no energy. I had only ran away for about three days now, but, my brother had a strange way of taking care of me, which most of the time involved giving me no food. I doubled over clutching my stomach, the cramps were almost unbearable. Okay, so I need food but I've got no money, and no one to contac- wait a second, I do have someone to talk to. I knew it was a bad idea but the hunger was clouding my vision, I can call Katie! I looked around for a phone before face palming, "I'm such an idiot." I decided I didn't really have a choice, and began my journey to the nearest phone booth.

The walk back seemed to last forever, dragging on and on but eventually I made it. Back on one of the streets I remembered there was a payphone because I had used it many a times before. I reached under the phone and felt an edge in the wall, I removed a small panel and inside was my secret stash of coins for if I ever needed to make a call. I stuck it in the machine and typed in Kat's number.

RING

RING

RING

"Come on Kat!"

RING

RI-

"Hey this is Katie." My heart seemed to jump out of my chest, and my mouth suddenly went dry, completely forgetting what I was going to say.

"Hello? Is anyone there?" I shook my head remembering why I was here.

"Sorry, hey this is Xander... you know from the uh, park." I said awkwardly.

"OH Hey Xander!" Her voice perked up, "What's up?"

I breathed in, mustering my courage, come on man, she's cool, she'll just want to help. "Well, I'm in sort of a uh situation, you could probably tell I looked pretty bad yesterday, well it's complicated... I promise I'll explain it but I really need a favour." I cringed, wow I'm an idiot.

"What's wrong? Are you okay?! What do you need?" She asked worriedly, and I stood there eyes closed not responding. "Xander, speak to me please, I'm worried."

I breathed out opening my eyes, "Look, this seriously was not how I wanted to call you, but you're the only person I can talk to. Please, no questions, not til later, but I really, like, desperately need food. Could you meet me at the forest in mooroobol?"

"Sure," she said sounding really worried, "I'm here to help, but right now I'm sort of baby sitting my sister. Is it okay if she comes along?"

"Sure," I get out before clutching my stomach,"Please... hurry..." I say before putting the phone down and stbling over to the edge of the forest and collapsing in a heap.