Ordinarily Normal

Chapter Six

CHAPTER SIX

Walking home from 'Help' club was pretty uneventful apart from the  fact that I had hoped that my parents would have been back. As I came round the corner, there was no sign of a car on the drive, no sign of anyone home, no sign of my parents either. My heart sunk and  my  chest heaved. I took the 'Leap of Faith' over the doorstep but it wasn't a fun thing do like usual. It just became a step not a leap and I sure didn't need faith do a step. The world just became a grey colour and all the fun in life that I have or have not lived these past 14 years has gone in the blink of an eye and I feel life will never get back together.

I sit down at the table and my mind drifts over to Isabel Martins. I can see why those boys are cruel to me because I'm me and you don't need an explanation for that,  but Isabel. As my thoughts wandered I considered that maybe they didn't like her because she was deaf and foreign and of course that would be too much for them to handle.  Yes this was most likely the cause, as she wouldn't have done anything to give them a reason to insult her. Dumbledore (a character from Harry Potter, if you didn't know) said 'Though we may come from different countries and speak in different tongues, our hearts beat as one'. And it's true, our hearts really do beat as one. We are in unison with each other, we all have that one connection that brings us together, life. Before it's too late people need to realise this and  cut out the bullying, bullies need to stop, teachers need to not give up and most of all victims need to stand strong.  

Within 2 minutes of being relaxed I jump out of my skin when the newspaper gets put through the letter box. I go and pick it up and read the front page. It says 'Car found with bullet marks along the side in North Yorkshire and the bodies are nowhere to be seen' It follows up to say 'Identities of people in the car are unknown to this point, updates will follow shortly'. Poor people. In that car is probably someone's  family or  relative and they have lost them. A person deep in their heart has been ripped from them. A great loss. They may feel lost or angry or confused. It's like having a chocolate bar without milk in it or forename but no surname. They might feel incomplete, as their life will probably never be fully complete again.

I walk up the stairs, listening to the birds tweeting in the tree in our back garden then turn to my bedroom. It feels dusty as it was mums cleaning day yesterday and seeing as she wasn't in and I was in too much of a state none of the cleaning required took place. Laying down on my bed, I wish I had someone to talk to because not only am I missing my parents but I'm also generally lonely.

I mutter 'I know.'

I come to a conclusion that tomorrow at school I will ask Isabel Martins for her phone number.  Which means  she can keep me company otherwise I'm just going to be lying in this pool of metaphorical light red blood soaked water with a depressing atmosphere for another afternoon.  Thinking about this takes me into another dimension like I'm in this third world, my mind is somewhere else leaving my body behind and Gregory too.

I can feel Gregory trying, trying to take over and I can feel him worried. Poor stuttering, wimpy Gregory. That's when something odd and unpredicted happens. I fall off my bed. Just like that. My head begins spinning. I feel like a different person. I become hot and feel dizzy. I go to stand up as I realise it's Greg trying to take over, he's partially winning you know.  Walking back down the stairs I collapse again, before I regain balance my heart is beating out of its chest and feels like it's erupting. I breathe shallow and lose the will to try and stay standing. Gregory takes over, he storms through to the front of my brain pushing me off my seat. He covers my eyes as I see black stars right before me.

After about 10 minutes I realise he's becoming stronger yet again, his power is driving through. My heart beat is elevated to much and my ears ring. As I'm out of my mind, I think the ringing was an ambulance as I shuffle down the stairs on my knees to the living room where my mum would be looking out the window waiting rather impatiently for the vehicle to take me to hospital. But no vehicle is coming and my mum isn't waiting by the window. I'm alone, in this scary moment and I'm uncontrollable. I have no reasoning and it feels like I'm dying. I'm drifting away. Slowly. But surely. Slowly. But surely. I grab the shelf by our front door and heave myself up to stand and take a deep breath. Then I fall, everything goes black. Gregory takes over and I'm gone. No one knows. No one will ever know.

After what must be 20 minutes my eyes open, and I can't see the black stars before me although my head is still spinning as I sit up. I feel fragile like glass. I'm verging on the point of shattering into a million little shards. I'm broken. Gregory has slipped back into the unknown and I'm myself again. I take the correct pills for my anxiety and walk to take a microwave meal out of the fridge. No way am I cooking dinner this evening, I have no energy or strength to do it.

Life's a mess but in it I found strength.

I did, Life is a huge staggering overwhelming mess that has spiralled out of control but I have found my strength to carry on and overcome it all on my own. This is quote is what I need to live life by, there's a good in everything and it all happens for a reason be it death or something as simple as the supermarket has ran out of your favourite chocolate bar.

After eating, I collapsed down on the sofa and fell quickly to sleep. I'm so tired and still a little fragile from today's events that I slept like a baby. My mind did too. Sleep was like the drug that took the depressive weight off my shoulders and meant I could forget the world around me.