September's Staircase [On Hold]

Chapter 14

**Matty's p.o.v.**

I'm bewildered, my thoughts are unresponsive about the matter and I haven't the slightest fucking clue how to deal with emotions coming from another human being other than myself.

The palms of my hands are sweating like a bitch and I wipe it off on my jeans before kicking off my boots to avoid the obnoxious creaking of the staircase. Might as well get the sap story over with.

I can hear the shower running from outside of her bedroom door so I invite myself in without bothering to knock, the heat from the bathroom gravitates all the way into the bedroom. What the fuck is she trying to do burn off her skin.

My body twitches thinking of her naked and completely vulnerable the only thing separating us is a flimsy door. Fuck what is wrong with me. My body drops down on her horrendous, purple duvet and I push my hands behind my head making my self comfortable.

The longer the shower stays running the clearer the image of her slouched under the the water, sitting on the floor, scrubbing every inch of her body repeatedly until her skin turns an angry shade of pink due to her gentle assault in hopes of cleansing herself of that prick.

My hands clutch into a fist as I try to suppress my anger, I don't know what I would of done if that fucking dick had went any further. Who am I kidding? I was just about ready to kill him hours ago. Not that I have actually murdered someone before.

"Matty?" she steps back a bit waiting for my confirmation and I turn on her lamp to reassure her. Droplets of water fall from her hair to the floor and her arms stretch out over her chest in an attempt to hide her body.

You have got to be fucking kidding me, I expected her to be wearing American Apparel underwear not fucking lace Victoria secret bra and panties. She paces across her room and pulls a robe out throwing it over her body and I'm left to literally pick my jaw off the floor before I can speak again. Well off her mattress because I am on the bed not the floor.. but you get what I mean.

"I thought you might want to talk but don't expect me to cheer you up I've never been anyone's savior."she drops her small frame onto the bed beside me, pulling herself up on her elbows to look at me.

"I don't know Matty you pulled me out of a dark situation before." she states referring to our evening. I ponder the thought and she is right she got me to show emotions and I have no fucking clue how it happened, almost naturally. I reach my hand out tucking a stray hair behind her ear and she leans into my touch. Her mouth opens slightly and just when her voice was about to become audible my phone goes off.

"Bloody hell." I pull my hand off her face and dig into my jeans to retrieve my cell phone.

** September p.o.v. **

 
He performs the miraculous task of pulling his phone out of his skin tight jeans in just a few seconds. I catch a meere glipmse of a flashing blonde on his screen before he pushes it against his ear. He stands to his feet and mouths that he will be right back before walking out the room. My curiosity is once again peeked and I pad across the room pushing my ear to the door.

"Ah come on love just give me thirty minutes I'd be there, it's your turn tonight." I hear a strangled goodbye before footsteps and  I jump up, off the floor and run to the bed. The door pushes open and he steps in smiling at me. I don't return the gesture instead I get up and walk to the balcony. I no longer want to waste time behind Matty if he is interested in other girls I guess it was inevitable he is extremely handsome, well known and his dark persona isn't exactly a turn off.

"I think I'd get going alright ?"  he steps closer and I step back pulling my hair into one hand before turning around to look at him. I have to talk myself down from looking at his toned torso that becomes visible every time the wind blows his t-shirt up." And you should get inside it's windy tonight. " I scuff at him loosing all my patience to his act.

"Are you into me, am I just a friend  or am I just another one to add to your collection?" As the words are out in the open it hits me. Collection.... member, Matty doesn't have some mafia gang he's just a womanizer so I guess his story about Dylan's sister checks out. I smile to myself, pleased that I figured out this mess so fast. I look over to him and he looks deep in thought before his face twists into anger and I can practically see all the hurtful comments stirring behind his eyes. I bet he has never been questioned before and that girls are more than willing to be his fling. Judging by his stance he isn't going to handle the interrogation well.

"No offense but I've been with much better if I had to settle down it won't be with you." " Keep yourself out of trouble and I won't have to babysit." he spits out walking out my room and I follow him to close the front door. I can't deny the pang of disappointment that's present in my chest but I'm thankful for the familiar  numbness that follows. He turns to me when he reaches the front door and his body tenses even more but his eyes hold sorrow. I need to stop looking for emotions through people eyes the gateway to the soul. He opens his mouth to speak quickly deciding against it, turning the knob and opening the door.  Maybe he's just bipolar.

"Oh and tell Danny pay up." he smirks "I asked you out." Or maybe he is just a douchebag, my subconscious voices her opinion and I slam the door close before walking back upstairs and digging through my draws until I find the tiny silver razor blade, locking my self in the bathroom completely ecstatic to feel the strange relief that comes from blistered skin.

My lips are taken between my teeth as I watch the the velvet red color seep throw, the now thorn skin on my inner thigh. I release the breath I'd been holding and relish in the the pure ecstacy of both pain and pleasure that comes hand in hand with self harm. I never have and never will cut because of a stupid argument with a boy so don't get confused I'm not cutting for Matty. I've been doing it for ages now, it's the only way I feel alive. Seeing myself bleed is a strange form of comfort, it's reassurance that I am still here and I haven't just faded. Tonight there was so much overwhelming events that took place yet the only emotions I could of felt was regarding Dylan's assault. I couldn't help but feel broken for my lacked ability to feel and I just needed it, I needed to not only see my skin being thorn by the sharp metal but to feel the sting of pain and the rush of pleasure.

I heard footsteps just outside my bathroom door and before I can stretch to lock it, it's pushed open.