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iii. PRIMADONNA LIKE

CHAPTER THREE

@EHARPER: um so this lil guy showed up at my doorstep! what shall we name him?

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LUCYBOYNTON
oH MY GOD HOW CUTE
— EHARPER
i fucking know right

ITSRAMIMALEK
name him freddie
— EHARPER
i'll consider it but only bc of the god himself
not you

BENHARDY
NAME HIM ROGER
— EHARPER
🤔🤔

JOEMAZZELLO
he looks like a deacon™️ to me
— EHARPER
that's so cute omg
— JOEMAZZELLO
deacon it is! 😇

USER1
OMG JOE

DIRTYDIANA
deacon???? that's so dumb
— JOEMAZZELLO
excuse me ma'am, i'm offended
— DIRTYDIANA
good you should be

[ "BOI-RHAP" GROUPCHAT ]

RAMI: "FRED🐱"
BEN: "PRETTY BOY👱🏼‍♂️"
GWILYM: "LEGS🕺🏻"
JOE: "TWO TITS🎸"

PRETTY BOY👱🏼‍♂️
rami you need to tell us about lucy's friends
RIGHT NOW

FRED🐱
what do you want to know

TWO TITS🎸
who's eden
and why is she so pretty

LEGS🕺🏻
oooH get it joey

FRED🐱
eden's cool, she's a model
& she has a youtube channel i think
she's been friends with lucy for like ever

TWO TITS🎸
do you have her number?

LEGS🕺🏻
just dm her stupid

PRETTY BOY👱🏼‍♂️
hey no name calling

LEGS🕺🏻
shut up rogerina

PRETTY BOY👱🏼‍♂️
what about the rest of them

FRED🐱
well lucy is MINE
bella is dope she's a law student at nyu
and diana is a photographer
they all live in the same building in new york

TWO TITS🎸
wait we're gonna see them when we go

FRED🐱
yes

LEGS🕺🏻
diana is mine
i call dibs

TWO TITS🎸
i want eden but women
are not possessions
so i'm not claiming her
(but if any of you try some
shit im throwing hands)

PRETTY BOY 👱🏼‍♂️
good so i get the pretty one
with the big eyes 😍

FRED🐱
that's why they call her buggy
she has eyes like bugs do

LEGS🕺🏻
what's diana's nickname?

FRED🐱
they call her d
or diablo. apparently
she was the party girl in hs
so they call her diablo (devil)

TWO TITS🎸
what about eden

FRED🐱
killaaaaaa
they call her killa

TWO TITS🎸
why?

FRED🐱
i don't know, lucy never told me,
apparently they all will never tell
i have a theory that it's because in hs she used to break a lot of hearts, essentially like being a killer to their hearts.

TWO TITS🎸
great fucking theory rami

FRED🐱
listen, she's not a hoe by any means, if anything she's fucking prude, but she has this way of making people fall for her. idk it's weird. lucy said that she was the girl everyone wanted but nobody ever got. she's prestigious, primadonna like.

PRETTY BOY 👱🏼‍♂️
GOOD LUCKY JOEY

TWO TITS🎸
she'll fall for me, watch

LEGS🕺🏻