i like rainbows

12/21/18

This is what every cliche high school group has ever taught them: you stay with your clique and never leave. They are the only people who will ever accept you.

And this is what they say to that: *clears throat* FUCK OFF, PLEASE!

They have a little bit of every cliche with them in their small family. There's the lesbian (Dara) who is every gay cliche yet not at the same time. The cheerleader (Jessie) who actually isn't a bitch and not dumb despite her blondeness. The jock (Marco) who isn't on a football team since the school doesn't have one, but plays soccer and does track and doesn't hide it. And finally the drifter, loner, and bipolar bitch (Paxon) who isn't shy, just quiet around strangers. And who isn't some creepy goth kid even if most of her clothes come from the very underrated Hot Topic. Everything around them has taught them they have to stay in their groups and never stray from those who are exact copies. But they've found a family in each other, and sure they might not stay friends forever and it makes them cry the few times they think about it, but they're caught up in the now.

Few people know who they are. Of course, their little group isn't their only friends and they understand that. Those "outside" of the group always compliment the fact that they're so close.

And one of the reason their so close is that they have become a family--telling each other things no one else does, spending holidays together, the whole thing. And they're all so excited about the bell ringing in five minutes so they can start their winter break.

"Hey, Pax?" Dara nudges Pax with her elbow and Pax turns to her friend, a red candy cane hanging out of her mouth.

"Hmm?"

"Did you notice the guy in the library yesterday?" Pax rolls her eyes. Dara has always been super paranoid. "The one who kept watching us?"

"Oh my God, you saw that, too?" Jessie spins around, a candy cane hanging out of her mouth like Pax. "It didn't creep me out but I got this feeling about the guy. It wasn't bad but I couldn't explain it. Did you see him Marc?" Marco spins around, the bells on his elf hat jingling with the movement.

"See who?"

"The guy who was staring at us in the library." Dara huffs. "He wasn't creepy like Jessie said, but it was weird that he was staring at us." Pax shrugs, turning back to her Chromebook and watching James Charles' new video.

"It didn't bother me. Honestly, I thought he was kinda cute." Silence follows Pax's words and she looks up to see her friend's mouths hanging wide open. "What?"

"You. . ." Dara stutters, her mouth opening and closing before she finds her voice. "You just admitted you found someone attractive." The three friends gasp. "The world is going to end!"

"Shut up!" Pax hisses, trying to get her friends to shut up. "I've said I thought people were cute before. What are you talking about?"

"You're so oblivious to everything, I swear," Marco teases. "You never, ever have outright told us you found someone attractive. Outside of famous people."

"So? That doesn't mean I don't find people attractive." Pax shrugs, putting her headphones back on and eating her candy cane. Her friends stare at her in wonder, how she's such a beautiful person (more inside than out in all honesty), and yet she's never had a real relationship. She's kept herself guarded and her friends were all silently worried that if they ever were to not become friends, that she would be alone. That Paxon Wright will ruin her own future because she doesn't truly express her feelings until she breaks down.

But this little glimpse of feeling--this little moment of her saying she thought someone was cute, filled her friends with hope. Hope that one day, if they did end up not being friends because of something, Paxon Wright will have a life and be someone someday.