Free Me From the Wolves

[38] A Wolf's Weakness

I was laying against Ryder's naked body, between his legs while our hands were clasped and laced. Though I could feel and relate to Ryder's exhaustion, he was also very awake and caressing his thumb around my bare hip while his hand that was clasped to mine was lifted for his examination. I flattened out my hand as his gripped mine tightly. He kissed my shoulder from beneath me.

"You know you want to hold my hand," he teased and then kissed my shoulder once more, allowing a euphoric stirring run through me folds less than the other sensations he had given me during sex. We laughed lightly and I turned my head to kiss him. We shifted our positions on the couch and his arm was wrapped around my shoulder with his opposite hand holding onto the crease in my leg to make sure I wouldn't fall of the couch despite being halfway on him.

I surprisingly felt no guilt or naivety or emptiness from losing my virginity to him just now. I felt heightened more than anything. Especially at how he stared and studied my face as if every time he did it I looked different. Only this time, the obvious teenage girl within me started to blush and forge a smile and avoid eye contact with him. "What?"

"Don't 'what' me and then look away," he said in a chuckle. I'm sure if he wasn't clutching onto me to save me from gravity, he would've grabbed my chin to look at him, but I granted that eye contact on my own despite him repositioning himself to pull me more onto the couch and him into a more sitting than laying position. "You're beautiful."

"And that's why you're looking at me?"

"Not entirely, but at least it's not a lie," he joked before leaning over to kiss me. I smiled and kissed him back briefly.

"But what are you thinking about?" I asked him.

"Absolutely nothing," he answered and I narrowed my eyes. "Swear to God. In this moment, I'm not thinking about anything and it's so goddamn blissful for once."

"Mm..."

"Okay I lied," he said, causing me to raise an eyebrow. "I'm thinking about our wolves when we had sex on the trip."

I remembered it too. How our animalistic behavior acted like two mating wolves that knew how the deed was done for centuries of its existence. How nothing else mattered. How all attention was on us. How every scent and kiss and touch was soft and aggressive all at the same time. But more than that, I had remembered tonight how our kissing heated up to where Ryder's canines had sprouted and his eyes had glowed. Like always, he shut them tightly and paused, only to ask me if I truly wanted this. And I did. His teeth didn't immediately repeal along with his sharpened claws, but he grasped my waist even tighter and kissed me harder as if using his wolf's strengths in all the right parts of my weaknesses.

And then in my memory of it all, I saw Ryder's big red eyes flash in my brain without looking at him. It was to get my attention. Not only as a warning that he had read my mind, but also because they were sad. It took me two seconds to clue in. I looked up at him.

"I don't regret it," I whispered to him. He sighed and looked up at the ceiling while he tried concealing his grin. "Calm down. Don't get a big ego. I'm not saying you're, like, the best ever, but I'm saying I wouldn't take it back."

"Not the best ever?" he looked at me with mischief in his eye. I felt his hands start to stir. "Ashlynn Everton, to you I am the best ever," he refuted before pulling me closer and attacking me with kisses wherever he could while I pretended to be embarrassed by them. But when he had circled up to my head, he paused briefly before pressing his lips to mine where I wanted to keep them. I deepened the kiss and felt his hands cup my butt and lower back in excitement, but then he pulled away. His smile had dropped. "Was this okay?"