Keske (If Only)...

Finding Our Way Back

Sanem was in the hospital for a whole week. Can visited her everyday. They told her he was Emre's brother and that he had become a good friend to Sanem and that she had even worked at the firm and helped him with some of the ad campaigns. Sanem found that hard to believe but she felt happy at the thought. She always wanted to be a writer and let her creativity flow.

 She loved the time Can spent with her. They talked about books, and food, and traveling to new places. She started remembering going to work for the firm but had no recollection of the things Emre made her do, which was just as well. 

Can was there when they released her from the hospital. He took them all home in his truck and Sanem had a vague memory of all of them stuffed into his truck on another occasion. The details were fuzzy but she remembered everyone being grateful that he was there. In the hospital Anne talked about his donations to the library and Leyla talked about how hard he worked to save the company. Sanem knew he was a good person, and loved by her family. If only she could remember why she felt so connected to him. 

The day after she was back home, Ceycey and Guliz visited her and suddenly a memory flashed before her eyes. She was talking to them about Can, on her first day at the firm, and he was standing right behind her.  Ah Sanem ah, you really embarrassed  yourself the very first day!

A few days later Can asked her parents if he could take her out for a meal. He took her to their favorite seafood place, the one she loved so much. With her first bite, the memory of the flavors came rushing back. "Mmmmm", she said. "I know this taste!! Its the best sandwich ever!" Seeing her be enthusiastic about something they shared, brought a tear to Can's eyes. He would bring his Sanem back, he promised himself, all of her. 

That weekend he took her to the campsite, to the hammock where they watched the stars. Sanem lay in the hammock, and he rocked her as the sun began to set. Suddenly her eyes flew wide open. "Orion! I remember the night we spent here". Can gave her a gentle hug. "Shall we stay 5 minutes longer then?", he said impishly. "Ok, 5 more minutes", she agreed with a shy smile.

After about 6 weeks Sanem decided she wanted to go back to work, and her parents reluctantly agreed. She woke up earlier than usual that day, almost jumping with excitement. She showered quickly and then rummaged through her cupboard for her work clothes. As she moved clothes aside she found  the bottle of her grandma's favorite perfume. She carefully opened and was about to put some on her neck, when memories of Can yelling and and someone name Fabri flashed before her eyes. She almost dropped the bottle in fear. What were those memories? Suddenly she was not sure she wanted them back. She was quiet on the way to work and Leyla wondered if maybe this was not such a good idea. 

But once she was at work, everything fell right into place. CeyCey and Guliz went out of their way to make her comfortable. Deren Hanim bought her a cup of çay, while also looking like it was a first for her. That made her smile. She realized there was some history with Deren, but she just wasn't sure what it was. It seemed like Deren was willing to put it behind her, and Sanem was happy to oblige. She made her way down to the storage room and her desk felt instantly familiar. 

Can came downstairs to see her with another cup of çay, and she remembered a time when he had come down just like this and given her a computer. "You are very good to me, Can Bey. Thank you", she said. Can's face clouded for a moment, but he didn't say anything. "Can I take you to a special place this weekend?", he said. "I will ask your parents and pick you up in the morning". 

That morning Can picked her up and Sanem could barely contain her anticipation. "Where are we going?", she said. He just smiled, his dimples showing and melting her heart.

They arrived at the old house from Sanem's childhood and as stepped out of the truck, a wave of nostalgia hit her. "What are we doing here, Can?", she asked. She didn't even realized that she had dropped the Bey.

He gently put an arm around her shoulders as he led her in - "Finding our way back".