Keske (If Only)...

New Beginnings

Without even thinking twice, Sanem reached into the old fireplace for her box. But there was nothing there. She turned around, disappointed. Was she remembering it wrong? Can slowly walked towards her and took her hands in his. He started reciting the poem she wrote, from memory. By the time he said the words " This is for my beloved albatross with whom I will read the words one day", they were both crying. "You said we should never leave each other, Can", Sanem sobbed, "Why did you leave me?" 

Can kissed her tears, her cheeks, her lips, "I'm so sorry, sevgilim. Please forgive me. I can't think straight when I'm with you. I should have controlled my anger. I should not have given Fabri a weapon to use against me. I should have been the kind of person you can come to without fear, without worrying about what I will say or do. You are so much more to me than your perfume. That is only one small part of what I love about you. I realize you were making that sacrifice for my sake. So many people in my life have deceived or abandoned me and I couldn't bear the thought of you deceiving me as well. Keske..., if only I was willing to listen to you when u wanted to tell me everything, none of this would have happened. 

"No Can", Sanem cried. "Its my fault. I should have trusted you. I should have found another way. I should never have lied to you again. That is what made me so upset that day when I rode the scooter so fast. Even I wanted to get away from my lies. I wish with all my heart that I could take it back. I want to be the one person you can trust forever. Please, please, forgive me".

They held each other tight - crying, forgiving,  and promising that they would change for the better.

"I have one last surprise for you before we head home", Can said smiling. "This day is already one of the best days of my life, how can it get better?" Sanem laughed.

Sanem hoped he would take her to their special place, the cabin. She could spend the rest of her life there, if he asked her.

They rode in his car and when Car stopped in front of the cabin, Sanem's face lit up." This is the only place I want to be right now", she said. When they walked through the gates Sanem saw that Can had decorated the place just like he had the last time they were here. "Oh, Caaaaan, its so beautiful, just like before!"

Can's face broke into a wide smile."You remember!" 

"I do!!", she replied.

He took the ring he has been carrying in his pocket since the day of the accident, and held it out to her. Before he could say anything, she repeated "I do", holding out her hand, her happiness shining in her eyes. 

Can slipped the ring on and kissed her deeply. "I was so afraid, canim. I thought I had lost you forever. I realized I wanted you, no, I needed you, in my life, more than anything. Don't ever leave me again"

Sanem's eyes filled with tears as she kissed him gently, sweetly. Her heart broke thinking about what she had put this man through. She wished she could take back the last two months, never put him through the heartache he experienced. Never make him question her love for him, or her trust in him. 

"Keske", she began. Can silenced her with a deep kiss that took her breath away. "No Sanem, no more regrets. This is our new beginning, no looking back. No more secrets. Emre already told me about the photos. There's nothing else to be afraid of. I want to spend the rest of my life loving you, caring for you, sharing everything with you"

Sanem ran her fingers through his hair, kissing his eyes, his nose, his cheeks. She wanted to show him how he meant to her. But she didn't know how. "Show me Can. Now. Here. I don't want to wait another minute". 

Can's eyes widened in suprise. "Sanem...."

"Now, Can", she smiled widely, jumping up to wrap her arms around his neck. He lost his balance and started to go down, cushioning her fall, even as they landed on the floor of the cabin.

"I think you're knocked out, Can", she smiled, recalling a similar conversation in the boxing ring. "I think we are just starting, my love", he replied, his eyes filled with promise. Holding his head gently she leaned in for a kiss "Let it never end then".