YOUTH. | JK | COMPLETE

busan

SUGAR
BROCKHAMPTON

Spending all my nights alone, waiting for you to call me
You're the only one I want by my side when I fall asleep
Tell me what I'm waiting for
Tell me what I'm waiting for
I know it's hard, but we need each other
Know it's hard, but we need each other

Jeongguk doesn't sleep that night. The first thing he involuntarily does when he gets home is throw up the soju he drank at the club. He showers next, but he thinks so long about the night he's had that he doesn't get out until the water runs cold. He dresses in underwear and sweatpants and paces his apartment, reading the messages he sent to Haneul over and over again, struggling to decipher them and find where he went wrong.

"What in God's name is the matter with me? Why can't I ever understand anyone?" He says aloud, and knows he's even more insane for talking to himself, but at this point, he doesn't care. He tugs at his hair and groans, looking at the screen as if in hope that a new message revealing all of the answers to his questions will magically appear. After two hours of thinking, all he has as a product of his thoughts is that part of the problem is his secrecy and lack of transparency about his life, but he has a feeling there's more.

Suddenly, a notification pops up on his screen. A text from Seokjin.

Hey Jeongguk, I don't know what happened tonight but I hope you're okay. Text me when you get this, and feel free to take the day off work tomorrow. I'm sorry, and I hope we can still be friends.

Friends.

The problem clicks together in Jeongguk's brain like the last piece of the puzzle. He navigates back to his conversation with Haneul and scrolls up a little to find the part he's looking for.

I do not have the time nor the patience to explain now, I need to concentrate on not losing my only friend and my potential friends

your only friend, huh?

"Damn it all!" Jeongguk curses as he realizes exactly what he did. Haneul doesn't think he views her as a friend, and that he doesn't trust her. If only she knew how wrong she was. "Jeon Jeongguk, you blithering idiot!" He exclaims, and his clumsy thumbs hastily type out a message.

Haneul

I am so sorry

I cannot cease in thinking of the way our last conversation ended and you know I am not the most perceptive, but I've finally figured it out myself

The thing I said about keeping my only friend?

I did not mean it that way

It was inconsiderate and cold and most definitely untrue because I do in fact consider you a friend

A close friend

To say the least

I was just so scared of making a fool of myself  and I got caught up in the act of trying to be someone I am not and made a fool of myself anyways

And you, you are always there for me, and never I for you, and for that I deeply apologize.

For all of it I deeply apologize.