For my birthday, I receive a call from a friend
an invitation to play golf, at a spot that's high-end
I put on a tie and dress up just fine
but the wife sends me back for Calvin Kline
A bit late as it is, we arrive to a crowd
with my wife on my arm, I'm rather proud
I decide, perhaps, I'll order a drink
It'll help with my aim of 18 holes, I think
We got paired with a couple, one blonde, one ginger
agree, so long as no one was harmed or injured
Set out for our journey, excited at last
When ole' girl says, "oh, not so fast..!"
Turns out they're amateur, brand new at the sport
was released from prison this morning at court
When questioned what she did, she gave quite a grin
"Oh, where would I even begin?"
When we get to hole one, my wife, so polite
lets the couple go ahead, its only right
the blonde takes the lead, focused it seems
But her best attempt leads to some screams
We started as four, now we're down to three
Blondie left screaming like a banshee
At hole number two I noticed ginger pivot
wildly swinging the club to form a divot
I'll tell you real fast, how the rest of them go--
It's my turn, so I put on quite a show
my wife was an expert, she learned from her coach
But that ginger is quite the opposite approach
My turn is fun, I get a whole hole-in-one
unfortunately, the wife says she's done
Two players left, I get a ball to the head
Dizzy, I play again, so my ego gets fed
Next up, our ginger takes us out with a swing
The club flying high with a fling
He hits the club owner
Who goes down with a boner
I'll bet you we'll never go again!
