Today, Tomorrow, Everyday

| 11 | Tomorrow | 11 |

"Of my death."

I didn't speak. Not a single sound came out of my mouth. I had to hear what she had to say. I patiently waited until she was ready to continue speaking.

"I can't see the snippet clearly. It's all a blur. But sometimes, I swear there's a person and I can tell that person's in pain and anguish. Then he -- I know this because his voice is quite low and masculine -- calls out in a really faint voice. I can't understand everything he says. I wish I could, but it just doesn't happen. The only part I hear him say is that he'll come back for me someday. He doesn't know when. All he knows is that he will. Then I just stand there and wait instead of going out."

"How come the snippet didn't seem to come when I picked you up for the first time? And why didn't you tell me this the first or maybe at least second time I asked?"

She turned to me. She looked at me right in the eye.

"Honestly? I have no idea."

And without any other sign or remark, tears suddenly flowed down her cheeks. I never thought I'd ever see her cry.

I don't know. I have no idea. I'm clueless. That's all she'd every say every time I'd ask her something. And now, this was why she was crying I figured. Well, it was pretty obvious. It's because she had enough of not knowing anything.

"That's enough for today." I took her by the hand. I couldn't see her like this anymore. Not even for a short while.

"Who do you think he was?" She started breaking down. I dropped the phone I was holding and didn't care anymore if anyone would see me. I hugged her tightly. She was startled, but she received it nonetheless. And then that's when it happened. I started feeling sadness, pain, a broken heart. I felt her emotions like we were one person -- like we were connected in some way somehow.

As I felt it, I finally realized it was better to remember everything. I finally knew the true agony of being clueless. It felt worse than remembering the past and having a heart completely filled with regrets, because even the good memories in life are wiped out from your mind.

I felt really sorry she had to feel this like I had to take responsibility for all this. I hugged her even tighter. I tried to make her feel everything was going to be all right while still trying to understand what was happening to me. Perhaps it was empathy? But then again, though empathy made one understand people's emotions, it doesn't make one feel like his heart is being stabbed a million times when someone is sad. Pity wouldn't exactly count as that either.

"I don't know, but whoever he was, we'll find out. Ok?" I comforted her. I made her feel reassured. Her replies were merely cries on my shoulder.

"We'll find out everything," I continued comforting her. "Tomorrow, we'll begin the real scavenger hunt, but for now I think it's best I take you back."

I took her by the hand to take her over back to our garage, but she fought back a bit and I accidentally let her go.

"No. You don't need to look after me or make sure I'm... safe. I'm dead. I can take care of myself. I'll just... go," she said with this awkward weak smile and voice, exhausted from all the pain.

"Wait. I... Just."

Without thinking, I just grabbed her hand and held it tightly. I was staring back into her eyes again. I felt her warm light once more. I didn't want to let go. I didn't understand what was happening to me. Ever since I met her my thoughts have never been so well-constructed. I couldn't get anything. And just like her mentioning her cluelesness to anything that was going on in her life or death rather, I've been saying this over and over again.

Meeting her changed everything. It changed me. It changed my life. It changed all I've ever felt about the concept of life. Death was all that ever mattered to me before. All I wanted was to love that dream girl of mine. But now as I looked at K's soul, something at the back of my head was telling me that maybe she was the girl I've been waiting for. She was the one I needed the most. A little voice in my head is screaming it's heart out that... That...

No. This was silly. I didn't know her. I have never known her ever. I still don't even know who she really was as I was holding her hand. She doesn't even know herself.

This must be just a trick of the mind. You know what they say when you see some girl or boy. She or he is different from everyone and you're always with her because of some reason. It could either be because you think she or he is fun or it's just really for formal and professional purposes. Whatever it is, the point is is that if you're always with her or him your mind could create this clouded illusion that you're crushing or falling for her or him even if you aren't. That's why nobody truly understands love. So therefore I conclude that this is absolutely nothing. I'm just confused. That's all.

"Sorry. Yeah, I guess. You could take care of yourself."

K nodded. She wriggled her hand out of my hold. "I'll see you again tomorrow, yeah? I know where your house is now. I'll just drop by here."

"Ok," I replied. And with that, she turned around and disappeared like ash dispersed in the wind.

***

"Zac? Is everything going ok?" Aunt Jean asked me as she chewed on the brussel sprouts she had cooked for our late dinner.

"Yeah," I nodded, "everything's fine." I did my best to make myself sound really reassuring, but I'm not quite sure if I nailed it. She didn't look convinced.

"You know, if things aren't going fine. You could always tell me."

I smiled as I poked a brussel with my fork, "I know."

After dinner, I rushed off to bed.

Today was a really long day. We stole yearbooks and ran away from a grouchy Mr. Williams and nosy Connor Brown. What we did wasn't right. Usually, with my weak conscience, I'd feel horrible about it. The guilt would eat me up and I'd just attempt another suicide. But for some reason, I had a smile on my face as I closed my eyes and let my mind wander off to my dreams.

***

"Paul Warren? How could the Paul Warren like you?"

I found myself at a school by the hallways looking at two people walking towards the exit. A passerby then eventually comes holding a flag of Monteforde. This wasn't just any school. It was mine.

The faces of the two persons aren't clear and their voices are faint, but I don't fail to see that they're a boy and a girl. And even with the given tone of their voice, I could still make up what they were saying.

"What do you mean? Am I out of his league?" The girl said, grumpily. Her voice sounded so familiar. I've heard it somewhere before right at the tip of my tongue.

"No. More like he's out of yours," the guy said in a joking manner, chuckling loudly after.

"Sweetheart, you are cray-cray."

"Sweetheart?" The guy stopped in his steps and looked at her.

The girl's shoulders waved up and down. "Sounds sassy."

What the... K?