Losing Joy

Chapter 2

Five years before the accident:

October 12, 2003 mom got diagnosed with breast cancer. It was a shock to all of us, including my mom. She had always been such a healthy person in general. She watched what she ate as well as made those clunky green smoothies with all of the antioxidants. She exercised normally and she had a good attitude throughout it. She's one of those "healthy blog moms". It was always something we teased her for but secretly were envious that she was so good to herself. At first none of us really believed her. Mom is a jokester so we were kind of just waited for her to start laughing and take it all back. Just another one of her cruel jokes, but the laughter never started, only the tears did.

Eight months before the accident:

I was just turning sixteen and mom allowed me to have a big sweet sixteen party. Joy never was one for parties so she never had one. Joy and I were kind of opposites which made it seem even less likely for us to be so close. The party was on March 6, the first Saturday after my birthday. That monday on my actual birthday Mom planned a small surprise party for me and just the family which was nice, but clearly I was more excited for the real party.
The party took almost three months to plan including finding my dress and everything. The party was at a huge indoor venue not too far away from the town that we lived. There was about one hundred people there, most from my school and family and some from my lacrosse team. We pretty much just danced all night, which is exactly what I wanted. Joy danced even though she wasn't friends with many people there, considering the age difference between us. Even though she hates the party scene she sucked it up and danced with me. Although the overall party should have been exactly what I wanted, it was a little too much. I was so overwhelmed from the party and everything else that was going on at home. I ran downstairs to the bathroom and hid in one of the stalls, balling my eyes out. I honestly don't know what was wrong and didn't then it kind of just happened and I couldn't stop it.
Joy ran down after me and comfroted me in the stall. I screamed at her to get out and how I just wanted to go home and be alone. She reassured me, telling me that I could take all the time that I needed and that I could do whatever I wanted because it was my special day and all about me. Still I begged her to leave and until I heard the bathroom door close I stayed quiet and held in the rest of my tears. As a happy surprise no one else came down stairs to see if I was ok or to even go to the bathroom. That always was a little strange to me, well at least until mom had told me that Joy waited outside the rest of the night making sure no one went in and bothered me.

Two years before the accident:

It was the summer after eighth grade and Mom took Joy and I to Six Flags great Adventure. One thing that would be the least expected thing based on Joy's personality is that she would be a roller coaster fanatic but she was. Me, on the other hand, never really had the chance to get to love roller coasters, this trip was really the first roller coaster I was ever going to go on. The line wasn't too bad and the park wasn't as crowded as I expected. It was such a beautiful day, the sun shining over us. A hot enjoyable start of the summer kind of day.
Joy went with me of course and I was absolutely terrified while we climbed up the steep hill. The ride we went on was Green Lantern, horrible choice for a first roller coaster. The seats were standing up and by the end of the ride the bottom of my legs were so numb. I didn't go on every ride that day but I'm definitely glad Joy was able to get me on one to begin with. She that type of person, the type to help you get over your fears and get through the hard stuff as well as have fun with you through the good. She's always there for it all.
On the way home she was writing in her notebook, I still never knew what but I always hoped it was something good. Joy was always so worried about others I wondering if she ever thought about herself from time to time. I lunged at her, trying to grab the notebook out of her hands so I could see what she was writing. Yes, taking other people's belongings without permission and grabbing something out of someone's hands is rude but have you ever just had that feeling in the pit of your stomach where you know something is up? It was like I knew she was writing something important, I wasn't sure if it was good or bad but she wouldn't let me see. She twisted away from me and kept her book on the other side of her the rest of the car ride. She was so protective of her notebook, like it held everything about her and what she thought within it's pages. It was like it held every secret she had ever heard or told. She protected that book like it was her own child, just like how she protected me.

Four weeks after the accident:

Joy was finally out of the coma. She woke up and started panicking, screaming where am I and who are you and who am I. She didn't remember anything when she woke up and it took a while for her to remember her name. She still doesn't know mine. She thinks I'm a nurse in training or something, considering I am always around and getting her things. She broke two of her ribs, punctured lung, bleeding in her brain as well as a mangled right arm. She was still on bed rest but she was going to start physical therapy within the next week or two. Mom almost never went to the hospital with me. Everything was way too upsetting for her. She never fully recovered from dad dying and anytime something bad happened it just reminded her of everything wrong with life. I think she also felt responsible for not watching of for Joy like she watched out for all of us.