Beneath The Surface

The Calm Before The Storm ☁

*2 Months Before School Started*

I yawn as I wake up in the guest bedroom of Kendall's house, and I slowly crawl out of bed when I hear Kendall and Avery are already up and playing video games. I giggle as I walk into the living area and see Kendall has her tongue sticking out as she concentrates on the game, and Avery whines because she's losing.

"Hey nerds." I say playfuly and Kendall just shushes me,and Avery just throws her controller down in frustration, "Hey." she mutters. 

 "So, what are we going to do today?" I ask as I plop down in the chair, and Kendall pauses the game, and shrugs, "Whatever you want to do." she says smiling

I think for a moment and smile wide, "How about we go to the mall and just hang out...I just got my paycheck yesterday before I came over here, all I have to do is cash it." I say smiling.

Avery giggles, "Then let's go shopping!" she exclaims, jumping up out of her seat and already grabbing her purse, and I look at her like she's insane. I mean come on...I'm still in my SpongeBob Squarepants pajama bottoms...I refuse to go to the mall looking like this!

I gently put my hands on her shoulders and push her down into her seat, "Avery...I just woke up...I'm not going to the mall looking like a hobo." I say softly as I giggle slightly.

 She sighs and rolls her eyes, "Fine, fine." She mutters, and I smile at her and pat her cheek gently before walking out of the room and I grab my overnight bag and head into the shower.

 As I sing and do my thing in the shower, I hear the girls out in the living area hooping and hollering over the video game, and I giggle slightly.

        Once I get out of the shower, I dry my face and body and wrap my hair in a towel before doing my makeup, then I blow dry my hair and straighten it for the day.

 I walk out and smile at the girls, "Ready?" I ask softly and they nod, and we leave for the mall. I yawn as I sit in the back seat of Kendall's car as Avery sits up front with Kendall. As we drive there, they whisper, but I don't pay any mind to it really. I just keep looking out the window, minding my own business, but soon curiousty gets the best of me and I begin listening in, and I keep hearing my name pop out of their mouths. I gulp, and just brush the feeling that they're talking about me under the rug.

Once we get to the mall, I completely forget about the insecurities I had earlier, because they were acting perfectly normally as we all tried on clothes and ridiculous outfits just like normal teenage girls do when they're at the mall, I tried on my favorite outfit that I had picked out and I walk out of the dressing room and smile at the girls, "So, how does it look?" I ask happily as I do a 360 turn.

Both the girls smile and applaud dramatically, and I giggle as Avery looks me up and down, "Mmm girl, you look so sexy!" She exclaims in her trademark 'Sassy Accent.

I giggle and do a dramatic bow, to accent their dramatic applaud, "Well thank you Ms. Sassypants." I say laughing slightly and walking back into the dressing room, and as soon as the dressing room door clicks shut, I hear distant whispering. I raise an eyebrow in confusion and press my ear to the door so I can listen more closely.

I hear Avery snickering slightly, "Man she has the flattest chest I have ever seen." She murmurs, and Kendall giggles slightly, and I feel like someone just stabbed me in the stomach. I mean I know I comment all the time on my flat chest, but that's okay for me to do because it's me....but I don't think it's okay for your best friends to do it...is it? 

I sigh shakily and just pull my regular outfit back on, and just brush Avery's comment off my shoulder, she probably didn't mean it in a mean way....she was probably just teasing me like best friends do. 

I smile as I walk out of the dressing room, making sure to act like I didn't hear them, and I hang the outfit, that I thought looked good on me, back on the rack,and Kendall looks at me confused, "Why did you hang that back up? That looked fantastic on you!" she exclaims, and I can't help but frown slightly at her lie, "Well, I just don't like the way it fit my body...it made me look a little boxy." I say shrugging, and playing it off, and Kendall just shrugs, taking that lame excuse.

The day went on with a bit more whispering and rude marks about my body, but I'm sure they didn't mean it. I know Kendall has been having a rough time with her mom, and Avery just has alot of work to do for her AP Lang summer assignment. 

Soon, Kendall dropped me and Avery off at our houses and I walked to my bedroom and began to mill over the comments they made about my body, "She's way too skinny." "Do you think she's anorexic?" "She looks like a stick."  Comments along those lines were said, I felt my insecurities built up by the second, worse thoughts coming into my mind than what they had said about me, I gulp wanting to fix this, hating it when I feel like this. 

I sigh and decide to just send them a message and clear the air, hoping it will fix the problem, I pull out my phone and send a group message to the two, "Hey, so today when I was trying on clothes I heard your guys' comments about my body...and I don't really like being called anorexic and stuff by my two best friends, care to explain?" I sent and as more and more minutes rolled by without a reply from either of them, my heart slowly began to shatter....but then I heard that sweet ding to notify me that I had gotten a message, and it was from Avery.

It read, "Oh girl I am so EXTREMELY sorry....those were really mean comments, and I have just had a really bad week, with my parents fighting all the time...it's not your fault...I just had to be mean to some one I guess....but you didn't deserve that, I am so sorry boo :( I hope you forgive me." I smile as I read the message, but it still hurts....even though I know she meant the apology, and she didn't mean those harsh words she said. 

I sigh and text her back, "All is forgiven, just please try not to do that to me or anyone else your close to any more....it really hurts." I send, and right after I send that, my phone had dinged again and I open up the message from Kendall.

"Gwyn, I am so sorry!! I should have not said anything about you or even gone along with what Avery was saying....I was wrong....sorry bestie...Love you!!" she sends and I know it's genuine, just like Avery's was, yet I still feel just as insecure as I did before. 

Little did I know that the insecurities that I had then....well they were just the calm before the storm.