Unhuman Nature

I Stole a Car

It's not too hard to stay out of the Winchester's way, what with them being on the FBI's wanted list like a hundred times. Death just never seems to stick with those boys.

Anyway long story short, I accidentally stole their car. I had to get away from the cops fast after some guy caught me taking his wallet, along with some random crap I grabbed from the gas station. I can't run faster than a car so I decided I would need one to get away from the cars chasing me.

I sprinted at least two miles because where I ended up was not exactly where I wanted to be. I had stopped at the police station. Again, just wonderful. Also, it's not my fault the first car that I saw was a sweet looking muscle car that was ripe for the taking. I've learned a lot over the years, and hot-wiring cars has become one of my many favorable qualities.

Breathing heavily, I tried the car door and surprise surprise, it was unlocked! Seriously what person doesn't lock their car at night. I took the plastic covering off the steering column and found the battery harness connector and pulled aside the battery, ignition, and starter wire bundle. Sometimes the ignition wires are brown and the starter wires yellow, but the battery wires are most usually red. I'm not MacGyver, and I'd rather not be electrocuted while being hunted by the cops, so I took great care as to not mess with the wrong wires. I know you're probably thinking, Hey why don't you just use your bright and shiny wings and fly away like a normal little angel? Well, I haven't exactly gotten that down yet, whenever I try, I teleport to the wrong place. Too many disturbing experiences with that. So I just don't. Plus, stealing cars is a lot more fun.

I stripped about an inch of insulation off of the battery wires and twisted the ends together. I didn't have any tape with me so I carefully continued to not die of electric shock. I connected the ignition wire to the battery wire and watched as the lights on the dashboard lit up. If all I wanted to do was listen to the radio, I was done. But I wanted to drive the car, so, I needed to spark the starter wire, which can get dangerous. I stripped the starter wire of about half an inch of its insulation and touched the end of it to the battery wire. I didn't need to twist it, just a spark against the battery wire to start this baby. I heard it slowly sputter to life and thanked whatever gods had smiled upon me. I jumped into the driver seat and revved the engine a few times to make sure it worked. It purred beautifully. Hooray, I didn't kill myself!

I cranked the wheel hard to either side and broke the steering lock. I slammed on the gas and drove like I was being hunted by a pack of rabid wolves that wanted to kill me. In a sense, I guess I kind of was.

As I was driving away I watched as two tall men came barreling out of the station. The slightly shorter one waving his arms, yelling and cussing up a storm. It was too dark to make out their faces but they both seemed pretty pissed off. I laughed, sucks to be them. I drove for what I thought may have been ten miles and slowed down.

I found a good spot between a bunch of tall, dark trees. I parked right in between the farthest ones, got out, and covered the front of the car with a bundle of branches. I settled into the back seat of the car and went right to sleep. Turns out, car chases are fucking exhausting.

I awoke to the sound a gun being cocked some scuffling and four different voices talking. Unless the Lorax taught the trees how to speak for themselves and the trees were not happy, voices in the forest at four o'clock in the morning were highly unusual. I pretended to still be sleeping and strained as I tried to listen to "whoever they are" were saying.

"... fucking stole my baby!" I heard a ridiculously deep voice say. Well that's weird I don't think I stole anyone's child? "Dude calm down, look, she's just a kid. You can't kill her for stealing a car." A different, but equally deep voice countered.

"Yeah kid my ass. The way I see it, the punishment fits the crime!" Batman voice said angrily. "Even if you tried, you couldn't kill her. She is just as powerful as Jack and could stop the bullet even in her sleep." A third, more gravelly voice stated.

Who the hell is Jack? I thought to myself. Hold up, how the heck does "whoever they are" know I have powers? Do they know I'm a Nephilim? If they know I'm probably in deep shit.

I heard Batman voice grumble and then heavy footsteps approached the car.

Shiiiiit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I tried to be as still as possible to make it look like I was still knocked out. Obviously, I wasn't fooling anyone, I was shaking like a leaf from fear. Curse you stupid emotions! "Get up. I can tell you're awake." I heard Batman voice say. I cautiously opened one eye and then the other and looked up to see who the voice belonged to.

I found myself staring into the eyes of, guess who!

Dean fucking Winchester.

Shit.