“The WHY NOT”
Cause you are my sweetest downfall…
Dear Josh*,
I remembered when I learned how to play one song in the piano. It was Regina Spektor’s Samson. Kahit noon ko pa lang siya narinig, I immediately fell in love with the song. Hi Josh! Naalala ko nung tinawanan mo ang boses ko when I sang that song for you.
So I have a fair share of heartbreaks. My crush who never took notice. A block mate who never liked me back. A friend who had the fear of ruining a friendship. A first love you can never forget and all kinds of scenarios. Tragic, sad and lonely stories that led me to where I’m supposed to be.
Madami yung dumaan, nagdaan at pinadaan ko over the past few years. I entered my dream university kung saan gumraduate yung dalawa kong kapatid na babae with the hopes of being a Chemical Engineer. When I had my heart broken in high school, mas nagfocus ako sa pag-aaral ko nung college. Pero naaappreciate ko naman yung moments kung may gwapo akong kaklase sa isang lecture or may nakasakay na cute sa jeep or may nakasabay sa elevator kaya pigil na pigil yung ngiti mo hanggang sa marating mo yung floor mo.
I let go of my dream about the dashing guy who’ll sweep my feet off the ground. For some reason, a guy who’ll accept me and understand me for who I am seemed enough. I realized na mas madaming big deal sa mundo kaya bakit ko poproblemahin kung single pa din ako and unfortunately, no boyfriend since birth at college.
I met Josh in my third year in college. Actually, familiar na yung gwapo niyang mukha dahil madalas ko na siyang nakikita though hindi ko lang siya kilala personally. So nakatabi ko siya for a short period sa Chem. lab pero dahil iniba ng Prof. ang arrangement, iba na ang nakatabi ko.
So there’s Josh. And there’s me. Ang babaeng parang malabo na ang chances na magkaroon ng love life.
Josh is a great story. He’s the amazing guy who got me the moment I knew his name.
Pero kung iisipin, Josh is just like anybody else. Oo, gwapo siya. Matalino, neat and an absolute gentleman. He reminded me of Julian dahil para siyang too good to be true. Then when he got me on that typical Tuesday afternoon, he reminded me of Jacob. Bakit bigla ko na lang siyang nagustuhan?
Kapag aalalahanin ko yung lahat, parang ang gulo nga eh. I liked Josh but I never told him that. Naging friends kasi kami at mas na-realize ko na he deserves a girl just like him. Maganda, matalino, mabait at neat. Hindi naman ako mabait. Moody ako at mainitin ang ulo. So I never imagined Josh falling for me.
But he did.
Siguro nauntog ka sa pader kaya nangyari yun. Hindi ko din alam kung pano yun nangyari. Kahit ngayon, ipinagtataka ko pa din kung bakit. Bakit ako. Bakit ikaw. Bakit tayo. Bakit bakit bakit bakit bakit. Kilala mo naman ako Josh, gusto ko laging may explanation. Then you would always tell me. Why not you. Why not me. Why not us. Why not Why not Why not Why not. So kitang-kita na agad ang pagkakaiba natin. Hanggang tagalog lang ako na Bakit samantalang English naman yang Why not mo.
