Dearme, People here believe that before a person die, they could feel the symptoms of death and actually know that they are close to dying. They just never tell.
Sometimes, I think I'm close to dying. But, the worst I've ever felt is now, starting from the very time I wake up at around 6 PM. Having been restless for a few days, I decided to sleep the entire day. It wasn't the best choice.
Though, my headaches are long gone, the reflection in the mirror is the imagery of dread itself. The bags under my eyes are becoming even more prominent. On top of that, there's this odd feeling... I don't know how to describe it, but I've become more docile and passive these days.
Not that I've never been, I've always been passive most of my the time.
Oh, well. If this is true, I might be gone in a matter of weeks; 2 weeks, maybe. Maybe, I'll die on my birthday.
The idea of death is oddly alright. But, afterlife is what I fear. I've never been a saint, so I'd probably go to hell. Of course, I wish I could do more...
I would've written this in my other S/MB, the one on my main account. But, I'd rather just write it here- saves the embarrassment and worries from others.
Here's to a better year of 2019.
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I LONG TO SLEEP, AN ETERNAL ONE BUT, I'M ALWAYS SAVED BY A LENDING HAND
