A Touch Within

Am I A Loose Character?

My name is Jessica and I am 28. I come from a poor family where I am the only child to my paralyzed mother. It has been 15 years that I have not seen my mother walk.

She barely can talk.

The proper move that she can make is make her eyes wet but never says a word.

My childhood had never been better. I was always jealous of what people had by their side. Seeing kids having a good time with their father used to make my heart burn. I remember my mother once told me that my father had left after my birth.

He wanted a son but it was his misfortune and my bad luck that he left because I stepped as a girl.

The actual reason for him choosing to leave us behind is yet untold. Is it even a valid reason to leave just because he had a baby girl? Why was I dominated since my birth?

Bringing up a life as a girl where the head of the family opts to have a different world for himself and the only suffering the mother has to take; the society putting up different accusations on that poor lady just because a girl was born!

Since my birth I was an angel to my mother but I had become a bad impression for the society. People used to bitch that I entered this world with bad lucks which actually made my dad move out from our life.

They consider me to be the pessimist fusion.

Do I actually carry misfortune?

Am I actually characterless?

There was nobody to guide me through. Mother used to work all day long just to feed me.

I could never go to school, we had no money. Survival had become a tough thing.
My mother always motivated me that we one day would surely have the best for ourselves but the question was WHEN?

Things went on.

*Door Knocks*

I went to see who it was because we never had anybody visit by our door for years.

"My Daughter, you've grown beautiful. How are you?"

"Who are you?"

*Glass Breaks*

"What is it Mom? You alright?"

Seeing dad after years and my mother having wet eyes, I guess that is understandable. I had no idea what was going on until I realized that it was dad who had returned after 12 years of leaving us behind.

It was my mother who did not even take a minute to forgive him after seeing his goddamn face!!
It was so kind of her but We did not know what was happening.

I had no clue about anything. Dad used to spend hours talking to me. He was so much good at consoling that I had no hard feelings left for him.

One day it was about 2:00 at midnight when I heard my mom crying over something. I chose not to make any move. They were having verbal discussion but the only thing I could hear was my mother cry.

Before I could ask anything my father grabbed me and took me out. I saw my mother faint.

I had become dull. I was scared and worried about my mother.

Back then Years passed, I made a way to get back to my mother. Things had changed.

I still think why my father had to return and destroy our world? Was it my fate to be sold to a BROTHEL? What was my fault? Just to be a girl?

I serve different men here and I earn good enough to make sure about giving my mother proper treatment.
Work actually makes no difference, I don't know if my father made a good decision or not but handing me to a Brothel for a handful cash somewhere turned out to be a good deed for him. Just because of him I am capable of giving my mother a better life although she cannot enjoy it I am sure she is happy.

The society Still does the bitching but does that really make me a LOOSE CHARACTER?