Metanoia

Hydra, Vruydon: Chapter 32

Everything was a complete mess. The chaos of it all was too much for him. His seat spun where it was, the world was becoming an empty void once more. Walls and floor fused into one as the blur of their dark surfaces created the empty pocket of space that Renjun had once inhabited before. Glass shattered into a million pieces passing through the red demon that claimed his identity. The creature itself fading into nothingness as the shards only reflected sadistic grins and echoed dark laughs. Spinning on the chair he was still attached to began skinning and it only grew worse with every time he struggled. Leaning forward, leaning to the left, leaning to the right. It only made everything go by faster. Sometimes he would pass by one of the pieces of glass, circling around him. He would stare into the reflection. Continuing to only see the demon, smiling back at him. The brunette was not feeling well.
    Renjun wasn't able to understand. But at the same time it all made sense. Perhaps it was just his own mind playing tricks on him. But he was able to find multiple times where he could hardly recall his past. Before he only thought of it to be something as simple as not paying attention to others much. Until the moments in Vruydon where things would seem familiar. The times where faces were oddly similar to others that were buried deep down in his mind to area's he couldn't reach. And of course the dreams he had. It was dumb not to understand that. Sure, maybe people could posses, he wasn't one to dismiss that idea. The one presented to him however was indeed more plausible. Being able to dream all of that and having it close to the same as Hydra itself was not just some coincidence. There was truth in thinking that this was in fact him.
But at the same time, it could've all been a lie. A way for them to break him. A way to force him never to search through the building ever again. That was equally possible. Taking his dreams and using them against him in this large scheme to keep him under their control for good. Maybe they weren't hunting him because he used to kill dozens. Maybe he was just being hunted cause they knew he was from Goldenleaf all along. Maybe they wanted to see how far on of their experiments could go. Before brain washing them and sending them back into the town. Or maybe recruiting them to help with the experiments themselves.
The more Renjun thought about it, the more he consider the former. After all, why wouldn't they hunt Jeno as well? Why wouldn't they take him into account and try and irk him? Not that the brunette would particularly like that, but it would really confirm his doubts to be true. And confirm that this was just a big hoax. So he could convince himself he wasn't that red haired demon that seemed to experiment on others with a sadistic edge. He wasn't chased down to the point of jumping out of a building just for the sake of not to be taken in alive. That he didn't get brainwashed and placed into a town where he would forever be the odd one out. Because he knew something. Deep down he knew something wasn't right. Perhaps he wasn't right.
    As he continued to spin, deep in thought. The darkness was spinning into something else. Something was manifesting. The chair was disappearing. Renjun found himself floating once again in air. However there was no sign of a cold air that used to surround him and make him feel comfortable as he had to wait. There was warmth, an embrace. Nothing as secure as Jeno's. But something more, at home. Something he had missed for who knows how long.
Relief was settling in his chest and he stared at the honey haired boy hugging him. He couldn't see anything around him other than Donghyuck. A younger, more innocent Donghyuck that used to drag him around the town while school was just about to start. Only to go to the shop and browse the aisles for formidable snacks. The Donghyuck that would climb up the tree during lunch and figure out plans to a cool treehouse. The Donghyuck that would only fool around during Gym and make it his own class of fun. The Donghyuck who would know at Renjun's window at one in the morning just to have a movie marathon. Or just to talk trash about other students. A much more innocent time.
'Maybe I was dreaming.' The smaller teen thought. 'Maybe it was all this super long fever dream and I just slept for a long time. Maybe all those faces were in comic books and manga I used to read. Maybe that's why I couldn't recall some memories. I just dreamt all of it up. I dreamt all of the friendships I made. I dreamt of being with Jeno. I never was with him. I never was in his embrace. I never held his hand when I felt nervous. I never calmed down by running by hands through his hair. I never kissed him... I never met him..'
His eyes became watery with sorrow and relief. "D... Donghyuck... I'm so happy you're-"
Something cold pressed against the back of his neck. Something sharp. It's long edge balanced right at his nape.
The brunette froze, staring at his childhood friend in horror. "D.. Donghyuck...?"
"You left me." The voice was cold, emotionless but at the same time. Crazed. Craving something. Craving everything. "You left me here, I needed you. Look what you did. You abandoned me. Left me alone. I had no one. You were the only person. The only person I needed."
It wasn't just Donghyuck's voice. Someone else was there. Someone far away. Yet still very present. The younger boy lifted his head up from resting against Renjun's shoulder. His eyes were bright red. Filled with raw emotion. A raw emotion of intense love. Not the love between a couple in their honey moon phase. Not the love a friend. Or family member. No love was as poisonous or as unstable as the one reflecting in the honey haired boys eyes.
"You were all mine. You are all mine. You should've never left. You should never leave. You will never leave." Donghyuck wasn't himself. This wasn't his friend.
Renjun was motionless as the knife was poised at his neck. But his face was twisted in pain. His eyes never cleared up. This wasn't what he wanted. He didn't want to be faced with his friend. To be told any of this. There was no way he wanted to be so selfish, to ignore other people's problems. And look where it got him. He wasn't sure anyone back in Goldenleaf would even stand to be near him.
A hand grasped his arm from behind him and the brunette had to force himself not to move. Or he would die. Hot breath hit his ear and he could see pink strands of hair from the corner of his eye. A dark chuckle echoed around them. This time it was nothing similar to the ones he heard before. The ones that sound like him.
"Do you want to join us Renjun?" The voice was deep, smooth and alluring. A voice that could charm anyone. He was surprised he never fell under the spell before- because right now it was working wonders. "You don't have to hesitate. Just come back home Renjun. Come back here and find us."
Donghyuck's eyes flashed. "Aren't you guilty? You killed us Renjun."
"I never killed you." The smaller teen responded quickly, his voice breaking a bit. "I would never hurt you...."
"You killed us Renjun." Jaemin repeated once more, his voice a low whisper. "It's your fault."
Suddenly their figures were overcome with darkness, they were nothing but shadows as they start to pull at him. More people were manifesting out of no where. Their faces recognizable to the runaway but at the same time almost unknown. They started to chant was Jaemin and Donghyuck had said before. Repeating it like a mantra as the approached him. Dozens upon dozens. Reaching their hands out. Grasping at his clothes. Pulling at his limbs. Scratching his skin and dragging him around. Their words growing louder and louder.
"You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us Renjun. It's your faultYou killed us Renjun. It's your fault. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us.You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us.  You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us. You killed us."
    On and on and on. Their screams were the only thing he could hear. Pain was racking his body as he felt himself being torn apart. His vision was blurred with tears as he tried to scream out. Nothing. Only the screams of others. Only the mantra repeating in his head. He couldn't think. He was overtaken. He was being dragged to hell by the dead.
    "Renjun."
    The brunette struggled to bring his bloody, wounded hands up to cover his ears. His figure dropped to the ground.
    "Renjun."
    Body racking with soundless cries and sobs. He didn't want to hear any of it.
    "Renjun!"
    "s...stop..." He hiccuped. Barely breathing, he could feel himself deteriorating as the corpses did their work and ripping him to shreds.
    "RENJUN!"