Luke stands in his kitchen. He looks out the windows, taking a swig from his bourbon bottle. He's found that this is the only way to escape the throbbing in his heart. Ever since that night, Luke has always had a bottle of liquor in his hands. The only way to escape reality, and forget. Nowadays, Luke only leaves the house to go get shitfaced at different clubs every night and fucking any girl that gives him the time of day. Without a doubt, Luke Hemmings has come to the point of no return.
Luke's phone starts ringing. He's not in the mood to talk to anyone, especially his best mates, but he answers anyway.
"Hello?" He slurs.
"Luke? You sound like shit, mate." Michael says.
Luke rolls his eyes, listening to Calum scold Michael.
"Luke," Calum says. Luke guesses that Calum pried the phone from Michael. Luke does miss his friends, but he's scared that he'll see something that'll remind him of her and break down crying. She was apart of the group just as much as he was. "Mate, I think we should talk about what happened." Michael says something which causes an argument to break out between the two best friends.
After listening to them argue for a while, Luke finally speaks up. "Have you heard from Ash?" This causes the two to stop arguing, shocked that Luke even said anything. He's been so closed off and quiet, the boys had grown used to it.
"No," Michael says shortly.
Calum then speaks up. "He's just as upset as you are." Cal hesitates, deciding on if he should say his next words. "Maybe even more. Shay was his sister, after all."
Luke can't help the guilt building in the pit of his stomach. He hasn't seen or spoken to Ash since the funeral.
Yes, Luke lost his girlfriend. But Ashton lost his sister who was also his best friend.
His guilt came from two things; He hasn't even tried to call Ashton to check up on him and Luke feels he's the reason she did it. After all, they had a big fight the night before it happened. She had come home from work and. . .
"I get it. I'll talk to you guys later."
"Wait! Luke-!"
Calum is cut off by the line going dead. Luke draws in a shaky breath. He turns around so that he can lean against the counter. He observes the messy room. Sitting on the coffee table with a fading lipstick stain on it is her coffee cup that she used every morning. He hasn't brought himself to clean the house. He wants to keep the apartment exactly how it was that night, the last time Shay was here. Alive.
No matter how much it pains him, Luke needs to keep the memory of her alive. The memories they shared together alive. Before he can let his mind go back to that night, he walks into the bedroom.
He leans on the door frame. Memories of movie marathons and fucking cross his mind. He can still remember how it felt to hold her while watching reruns of How I Met Your Mother. How she absolutely loved Barney Stinson and his stupid catchphrase. He still can't sleep on her side of the bed. It's like there's an imaginary wall on her side, not allowing him to lay there. Not even while he's sleeping.
Hanging on the closet door is Shay's Zepplin shirt. She wore it every chance she got. Led Zepplin was, without a doubt, her favorite band. It still smells like her. Luke forces himself not to look at the blood stain on the front.
Luke takes another swig of the bourbon, then pushes himself off of the door frame. He stumbles into the bathroom, catching himself on the frame. The alcohol is going straight to his head. . . and right down to his stomach. He rushes over to the toilet. He grabs onto the toilet as he falls to his knees, almost toppling over in the process. He pukes his guts out into the toilet bowl. Luke feels terrible. He instantly regrets drinking that much in one sitting.
But, he thinks to himself, it helped.
Once he's finished vomiting, he turns around to lean on the toilet. He takes another swig, trying to ignore the red stained tiles that were once white. He didn't have the heart to clean it up when he got back from the hospital. Shay was still breathing when he arrived. Barely, but still breathing. She only had a ten percent chance of actually living, and he took that chance. It was the end of his world when she didn't make it. That's what it felt like at least.
Luke feels a tear escape his eye as he starts thinking about her. He misses her so damn much. Sobbing, he pulls up his knees and buries his face into his arms. He lets out everything he's been holding in. He never imagined that he'd one day be crying alone in his bathroom.
Amidst his cries, he hears his name called. The voice that had called him is dead, yet he thinks it's real. He feels a hand rest on the top of his head. He looks up to find Shay's hazel eyes staring into his murky blue ones.
"S-Shay?" He croaks out.
Shay raises a finger to her lips, not saying a word. She holds her hand out, and Luke takes it without hesitation. She leads him into the living room. She circles her arms around his neck, swaying from side to side. He smiles at her, happy to have her in his arms again. This is the happiest he's been since she left this world. His brain doesn't fully process that thought, too happy to think straight.
But, if you're looking in the window, you'd only see Luke with a dreamy look in his eyes, swaying with his arms wrapped around air.
This is the moment Luke Robert Hemmings truly lost his sanity.
