Three Years Later | ✓

22 | My Heart Has A Home In You

AFTER CHATTING for a bit longer about less heavy subjects, I departed from Bella's, rushing back to my dorm as the sky turned a navy blue. Even though I had found out what I wanted, it led to more questions, ones only Milo could answer.

I bursted through the door, hoping to find Milo and Nicole in the same place when I left, which to my surprise they still were on the couch watching TV, except Nicole had fallen asleep on Milo's lap while his eyes were struggling to stay open. I gently closed the door to be sure I wouldn't wake Nicole, even tiptoeing a bit.

"Milo," I whispered. Seeing as his eyes were slowly starting to close, he didn't hear me. So, I took a few steps closer, and whisper-yelled his name again. This time, he heard me, barely looking at me for a second before busying himself with the TV. "Can we talk?"

He turned his attention towards me again, giving an unamused expression. "Please?" I added, a desperate look on my face. After a few moments, he obliged and I motioned to him to follow me. He slowly lifted Nicole's head off of his lap, replacing a pillow underneath her head and followed me into my room as I kept the door slightly ajar.

I sighed, "First of all, I want to apologize for accusing you of being the one who sent me those notes, and for exploding on you. I was just exasperated, and I took it out on you when I shouldn't have, and I'm sorry." My head hung low as I admitted those words, keeping my eyes trained on my feet.

"I get it, you were going through a rough time," Milo said lightheartedly. My eyes wandered back to his as he offered me a lopsided smile, empathy written all over his face. I looked at his chest, which was directly in my line of view, and back up at him, realizing how close we were standing to each other. So, I shifted one foot behind me and transferred my weight on the back foot, putting a bit more space between us, but not much.

"I just met up with Stacey. She finally gave me the answers I wanted from her notes and told me everything, well, almost everything."

"What did she tell you?" Milo's expression dropped a bit, concern taking over his features.

"Well, she told me what happened between she and James and revealed that you two also dated after they dated. But she didn't want to tell me what happened when you two started dating and James found out, so that's what I wanted to talk to you about. What happened between the three of you? If you're willing to share, of course."

Milo stuck his hands in his jean pockets, looking down for a moment, sighing as he recalled the memory. "You really want to know, huh?"

I nodded, "Absolutely."

"Well, before I met Stacey, James had told me that he had met a girl and things were going really well. But we'd never met because she was always busy with prior engagements, or her and James would be on a date. So I knew of her, I just didn't know who she was personally or what she looked like."

I looked at him curiously, wondering why they'd never met before.

"Fast forward a few months later, I sat by her in one of my classes after being one of the last ones to arrive to class. I started talking to her and we began dating. I told James about her and proposed that they meet one day. So that's exactly what happened. We all went out for lunch, and when James found out that I was dating Stacey, he went ballistic, claiming that I'd stolen Stacey from him. We got into an argument and...it was just a mess," said Milo, shaking his head as he raked his hand through his hair.

"Then later on that same day, Stacey revealed to me about what truly happened between her and James since he only gave me a vague answer, telling me that things just didn't work out. James and I got into another heated argument, some things were said, and we haven't spoken to each other since." His eyes were swirling with emotion, anger and sorrow.

"Wow," was all I was able to say. My mind was racing at a hundred miles an hour in all sorts of directions, trying to process the information. "I know this was a lot for all of you, but why did you all keep it such a secret. I mean, I'm dating James. Don't you think I should've been informed of this?"

"Stacey and I said that we wouldn't talk about it again for her sake, and I highly doubt James would've wanted to tell you about it," Milo sighed once again, keeping his gaze on the floor.

"Don't you want to make amends with him though? I mean, you guys were pals, best buddies, brothers for life."

Milo chuckled, "Sometimes, I think about how our lives would've been different if all of that didn't happen, and I get a bit nostalgic, not gonna lie. But...people change, and sometimes the inevitable happens, and there's nothing you can really do about it."

At that moment, looking at those sad, reminiscent eyes, I just wanted to comfort Milo, give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Alas, I couldn't suppress the feeling as I took a step forward and wrapped my arms around him, stroking his back in efforts to comfort him but choosing to skip the latter. His body tensed before slowly wrapping his arms around me, resting his chin on my shoulder as I heard the soft thumps of his heart.

I don't know how long we stayed like that, but I slowly pulled back as I felt the butterflies in my stomach begin to flap their wings harder with every passing moment. As we locked eyes, something unspoken lingered in the air, minimal space left between us.

And there it was again.

Milo had that glint in his eyes as his gaze flickered to my lips and back up to my eyes. He slowly leaned in, and as much as I wanted it to happen, I knew it was wrong. "I think I heard Nicole wake up," I said, clearing my throat quietly as I looked away. He pulled away, looking down as he slowly took a step back.

Without a word, Milo opened the door and walked out to the living room and softly close the door behind him. I released the breath I unknowingly held as my shoulders slumped. A second later, I made my way out to the living room where Nicole sleepily rubbed her eyes.

"Hey, you're back," she said, sporting a soft smile.

"Yeah, I just came out here to..." I looked around the room, trying to find something as a distraction, "get this." I held up a book that I luckily left on the coffee table. "Well, goodnight. See you in the morning."

My eyes annoyingly flickered to Milo, who sat next to Nicole as he watched the TV, trying to hide his emotions with a stoic expression but had eyes that revealed everything. My gaze stayed on him for a second longer, causing him to look up at me. As if the wind had been knocked out of my body, I suddenly forgot how to breathe properly as we continued to stare at each other.

Then, afraid that Nicole would catch onto something, I looked back to her, biding her a goodnight once more before spinning on my heel and returning back to my room. As I softly closed the door behind me, I slid down against it to the ground, body feeling limp after everything from today.

A lone tear escaped as it slid down my face, vision beginning to blur as all the energy left me was drained. I was tired, tired of my heart trying to leap out of my chest and run to Milo, tired of wanting something I couldn't have, tired of forcing myself to want someone when my heart had already found a home in someone else.

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A/N: thanks for reading! ♡ next chapter is a bit of a rollercoaster ;)

-Karlee 💛