history;

2

Have you ever felt... lost? Yes. I know what you're thinking. Does she ever stop going on about how boring her life is? I don't. I don't because I'm so determined to find who I am. But how? Is there some sort of way? Do I sign something?

I sat back in my bed and whipped out my phone. I open up Instagram and of course, there are pictures of everyone out partying and visiting all these beautiful places enjoying life.

This is what I hate about our generation. It's full of baloney. Are these people who post pictures of them looking so happy genuinely happy? Do they really live every day like that? Do they know who they really are?

It's five days to school and I don't think I've ever been more ready. Ready to go out there and experiment. Ready to accept invitations to parties.

I really hate to be this basic and don't kill me but I guess.. New Year New Me...? Should I stop? Most probably.

It was January 2nd 2019 and I still felt stuck in 2018. I still felt like that boring girl.

It's time for a change.

—

January 6th:
I may not have the most friends, but I definitely have my family. I've always been close to my family. My little sister, Annika, and I are really close to our cousins.

One of my cousins, who's more like a brother to me, is Theodore. But we call him Teddy. Teddy has been like the brother I never had. Teddy is only 3 year older than me, which I think is why we get along so well.

Teddy has always been there for me. He's pretty much my other best friend. He's always been the one to calm me down when I'm angry or call me when I'm lonely.

Great news, Teddy's going to college. Want to hear the bad news? It's in New Zealand. I'm thrilled for him, but who's going to hang with me now? It's going to be so dull without him.

Anyways, he in two days, and since i'm back to school tomorrow tonight's pretty much my last night with him, which we planned to just stay in for the night and chill.

7pm:
I heard the doorbell ring. I ran down the stairs to open the door to Teddy.

I hadn't seen him in two weeks. When we saw each other we instantly smiled and hugged.

"I missed you!" he exclaimed, pulling out of the hug.
"Me too!" I replied, smiling.

After that we went up to my bedroom.

He sat himself on the chair to my desk.
"So, happy late new year," he laughed.
"Happy late new year to you too," I chuckled.

"I'm really going to miss you, Teddy,"
Teddy looked at me with a sad expression sitting on his face.
"I'm going to miss you too, but facetime is a thing and you bet your ass I'm going to be finding out what's going on with you and school and everything,"

"Haha, yeah. It's just I really want to find myself this year, you know? I'm sick of being boring," I explained.

"Zoë you're not boring. But I get you. Times get like that. When I was your age I felt the same. But just don't force yourself into anything you're not comfortable with. That's my advice,"

He was right,
"Thanks Ted," I smiled and nodded.

The rest of the night was filled with laughter. I really was going to miss him this year.

But I need to focus on myself this year.

x x x x x x

(authors note)
heyy! thank you once again for reading the second chapter. i know this was short but chapter three is going to be long! hope you stick around to find out what happens next. love u guys :)

-s💜