Well, this was just about it. Bills were high, food was low, but that wasn't entirely the issue we were facing here, now was it? It's not as if I could've told you exactly what it was, either. All I knew was my insides churned with something like selfishness and, all of a sudden, I didn't want to be here anymore. I kicked the stained sheets away - faster than I tended to most of these days - and shrugged on my coat before I had time to wait around and listen to the grating sound of my heartbeat.
Alas. The very moment I clicked open my door to scurry out the hall, hopefully unnoticed, I was greeted with a sound that I'd consider...well, not quite what I'd call more grating than the aforementioned static, but certainly up there (particularly if you hate the twin concepts of "fun" and "friendship").
"VIIIIIVIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!"
"BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUE!!" I responded more out of muscle memory than intention. And before I could whirl about in search of the infamous blueberry menace, my hair was being sucked on by a lovely leech with voluminous bangs and rosy cheeks.
"OOOOH! STILL TASTES LIKE COUGH DROPS, WINE, AND..." She nommed vigorously just to be absolutely certain before releasing me with an inquisitive stare. "...is that old lady perfume? Is there somethiiing you're nooot telliiiing uuss?"
"Well, you'd be surprised!" Thirteen years of theatre really paid off as I cackled heartily for her sake. "Gypsies are awful fond of robbing the old and helpless!"
"OH! WELL." Her expression was a mess of horror and perpetual amusement. "That was dark - even for you. But it's okay becaaAAAaause..."
Her melodramatic pause made it impossible not to grin, even if my go-to wasn't a permanent snide smirk.
"...WE'RE HAVING CAKE FOR BREAKFAST!"
And with that I was pinched by the ear and beckoned into the dining hall, where somewhere amidst a fever dream of cake-diving and belting out random Broadway numbers at the top of our lungs - much to the dismay of passing princesses and dreadful cosplayers - we began a contest of sorts (all of this is just a normal Wednesday, I promise).
"That really rustles my jimmies."
"Razzles my dazzles."
"Sprinkles my cupcake."
"DRINKS MY PUNCH."
"BUTTERS MY TOAST!"
"CHILLS MY CIDER!!"
"NYAS MY NEKO!!"
"FOLDS MY BLANKET!!"
"BROS MY TACO!!"
"YURIS MY YAOI!!!"
The silence that swept over us as we just stared at each other in abject terror was fantastic.
"Aaaand the Blueberry wins!" I concluded, clapping my hands together as the two of us dissolved into that special kind of laughter where sound ceases to come out. This was really what we'd become. This is what we were doing with our lives. And it's bloody well what I lived for.
I realised it then - I was laughing. Genuinely, that is: I need not have worn a charismatic smirk to keep their worries at bay. None of it was even remotely forced. None of this morning mattered: That wasn't real, but this sheer joy was. All that was important right now was our terrible sense of humour.
Once the laughter subsided, I turned to her, red-faced and offering a smile.
"Thank you, Sapphy."
"Eh? What for?"
My vision went blurry as I found myself clumsily embracing her.
"Saving my damn fucking life."
YOU ARE READING
Fanfic Roulette
FantasíaWelcome to fanfic roulette, where any of them can be crack ship and only a handful of them are good ones. The titles are purposely made to be deceiving.
