XOXO Love, Dodo (HYUNGWONHO)

Prologue

October 27th - Friday - 20:01

October brings to mind unnecessary trains of thought - take Halloween for instance. Though, I strongly believe Halloween is primarily the biggest offender and source of these daft thoughts and even dafter ideas. What should I dress as? What party should we hit up? What party should we crash? Thankfully, this year, I've been a recipient of an actual invitation to an actual Halloween party, though, it is more so by association than anyone taking a particular interest or liking to me. I'm relatively plain and nothing about me sticks out nicely aside from my height, but my gangly limbs and fragile torso portray what is supposed to be my best feature as awkward result of puberty I hope to grow into soon. It's not my fault putting on and keeping weight is as laborious as it is for Jooheon to lose weight, who has become considerably insecure about his chubby cheeks and thighs as of lately. I'm just genetically predisposed to look like those inflatable tube-men outside car dealerships, I guess.

"This is crazy, you guys know that, right? No one's going to let me live this down." Turning to them, I fix my hair, combing my fingers through the wig's long brown locks, unused to the feeling of hair reaching my waist and elbows. As a matter of fact, I'm extremely unused to a lot of what I am faced with right now - the most devastating being these four inch heels Jooheon let me borrow. I've poked and prodded him with an explanation as to why he has size 9 high heels conveniently stored in the corner of his closet, just behind an old acoustic guitar with the cracked neck, but he won't answer Kihyun or I. Suspicious, yes. Unexpected, no, not really.

Jooheon, just a year my junior, is our charismatic friend with the tough outer shell but squishy insides that prevent either Kihyun or I for staying mad for long, if at all, when bumps and bruises occur as they do in a long-running friendship such as ours. "The freshest of sophomore" he often raps without warning in reference to himself as he runs a hand through his hair, has definitely matured the most out of he, Kihyun, and I since we were children. Somehow well-acquainted with one of the school's richest and, by default, most popular students, Jooheon was given an invitation by Im Changkyun just a few weeks back. He inquired on behalf of Kihyun and I, terribly uncomfortable by the mere notion of any sort of optional social setting in our absence, regarding extra invitations "for my friends" he said. Thankfully, Changkyun had enough to spare and stated a somewhat cheesy "Minhyuk doesn't know I have extras, but, just for you, you can have them" before being slipped a pair of black and orange invitation, and waving goodbye for the day as last period came to a close. Kihyun was initially apprehensive, wondering how Jooheon could trust a popular kid, or why he thought we would be willing to go, but, of course, was won over by his cute demeanor. How could Kihyun (or I) say no to him?

Presently, the two are seated on the edge of my bed while I take one last glance at myself through my mirror, wincing as if violently slapped. I hate what I see. Or at least the embarrassment that swells in my chest.

With a long, silken black cape tied around their necks, the insides lined a beguiling, amorous shade of red, with foundation slightly lighter than their actually complexions to give off the appearance of lifelessness, my two companions have opted for the easy way out - vampires. Again, for some reason, Jooheon has in his possession enough makeup to go around but, once again, this comes as no surprise. It probably has something to do with his mother so badly wishing she had a daughter, and often forgetting that was not the hand she was dealt sixteen years ago, despite loving him as dearly as she does. Leaning back, Kihyun lies on his back with outstretched arms atop my bed with dark lipstick as if blood on his lips contrasting his lightened skin greatly. Taking one last glance at me before shutting his eyes, he groans, "Hyungwon, please, get over it, you look fine. Besides, it's too late to go back now."

"You look pretty, though." Compliments Jooheon with a shrug. Kihyun and I turn to look at him, Kihyun rising from his flat position into a slouched, upright position against the headboard of my bed. His bright reddish hair and lovely-shaped eyes are even more striking with a full face of makeup and smoked-out eyeliner. Jooheon, too. I wish I could say the same about me. The foundation they applied does nothing by emphasize the zit on my chin, and the lipstick makes my mouth look even bigger than it normally does, even when applied in a soft gradient. "Like, you're skinny and have a pretty face like a girl."

"I'm flattered, but I can't help but feel insulted."

"Well, he's not wrong," Chimes in Kihyun. "The more I look at you, the prettier you look? It's hard to explain."

To get you, dear reader, up to speed, let's just say I, feeling overconfident for once in my life, bet I could pass my last biology test with a mark higher than Kihyun after forcing myself to study for what felt like a quarter of my life expectancy (but, in actuality, was the better part of the weekend leading up to that fateful Monday afternoon). Jooheon's mark would've been included as well if we weren't in separate grades; it wouldn't be fair considering the considerable spike in difficulty between first and second year science. "Dude, I studied so damn well for this test. If I do worse than you, I will go to the party this weekend in whatever costume you guys can think of" was what I proposed, only to be half a percent lower than Kihyun, whose 84% just barely out-ranked my 83.5%. In my defense, I received half a mark on one question for misspelling "organism" as "orgasm" while rushing to answer during the last couple minutes of class. To add insult to injury, their idea of a halloween costume is to throw me in a dress and wig in an attempt to pass me off as a girl - this time, the dress and wig are thanks to Kihyun's cousin, a theatre major at a local college. Having known me since I was little, she was confused, but, according to Kihyun, didn't ask any questions.

"Thanks? I look and incredibly feel stupid." I admit uncomfortably tugging the dress lower, only for the stubborn cotton to refuse. "There's also too much of a breeze going on down there."

"Sucks to suck. Remember, you did this to yourself. But, if it's worth anything, all the dumb popular kids are going to be so wasted, they won't even remember it's you. Those idiots... they should be conserving what little brain cells they have left instead of wiping them out with cheap beer and their parents' Vodka." Continues Kihyun, his disdain for the popular kids rearing its vengeful, ugly head as it so often likes to do. After one bad run in during our first week of freshman year that's escalated in more frequent unsavory encounters in the past couple of years, he's developed an ever-growing hatred that has yet to subside or even contemplate of doing so. At times, it feels unnecessary to dislike someone so deeply without knowing them, yet, when they do awful things like bully and mock him for his height, take advantage of Jooheon's faint-heart and insecurities for jokes at his expense, and generally treat me like dirt, Kihyun's disdain is unquestionable justified. "If anything, I bet they don't even know who you are to begin with. They may be garbage human beings to us, but, at the end of the day, you're just some tall kid they pick on who's friends with 'the really short guy' and 'the guy who's easy to scare with the dimples.'"

The more I mull it over, the idea somewhat assists in calming previously erratic feelings of embarrassment and growing anxiety. Even if Kihyun, Jooheon and I recognize me and, unfortunately, will remember this until we grow old, fortunately, no one else in attendance will; after all, even if I am tall and stick out like a sore-thumb when beside my classmates, who ever really remembers the wallflower? With a sigh, I resign and take one last look at myself before we leave, tucking my hair behind my ears, fixing my lipstick one last time, and taking one last glance at my reflection.

"You guys were right, I am kind of pretty."