The Devil's Bane

Lack of Sex

Chloe opened her eyes to a wall of solid black fabric which she quickly realized was Lucifer's crotch. Fuck. She rolled over to escape the view. He was standing next to the bed, reaching over her to caress Elias' face as the boy slept. The sweetness of the gesture struck her all of the sudden and she felt tears well in her eyes. She wanted to be loved like that. Chloe quickly wiped them away and sat up, startling the devil next to her.
"Detective! I see you and the cats have become close already."
"Cats?", Chloe asked, confused.
"A story for another time. Chop chop now, Ella has informed me that there is forensic evidence tying the victim's ex to the crime", he said. At this Chloe jumped up, brushing her hair back into place as she went.
"Well where does he live?"
"She lives in West Hollywood. Detective you really must learn to be more open minded", he chuckled.
"Lets go. What should we do about them?", she said nodding towards the two who were just waking up.
"Oh they'll wait here for us. After all it seems you're a bit interested in what we do together. Or am I wrong, detective?"
Chloe blushed red. How the fuck did he know? "Look I just think it's interesting from a research perspective", she asserted, echoing Eva's earlier words.
"Of course", he said smoothly, but she suspected he was hiding a smile.

When she returned from the exhausting task of interrogating the girlfriend (and preventing Lucifer from causing irreparable damage to the case), the 'cats' were pouring over a book that looked older than her grandfather. The pages weren't ridiculously yellowed, but the binding looked like animal hide (at least, she hoped it wasn't human), and the edges were extremely scuffed. "What is tha-never mind I don't want to know", she thought better of her question. Ever since she discovered the not so earth shattering truth about Lucifer's metaphoric Devil persona being all too real she had learned it was best not to ask questions.
"Ah I see you two have found one of the lost books of the Bible. I've always kept that around as sort of a practical joke", Lucifer waved his hand airily and grinned. Chloe ignored him.
"It's hilarious", agreed Eva, flipping through a few more pages before closing the tome with a thud. "How went the investigating?"
"We got some information we can use, but we'll chase that lead tomorrow", Chloe cut in.
"Very good detective. In the mean time why don't you come out to LUX's most private event tonight", Lucifer offered.
"What kind of event?"
"The fun kind", Eva said with a wicked smile. "Bet you'll get to see Elias beg for it."
"Shut up Eva you just take longer to break!", Elias protested in annoyance.
"Children, children, settle down. Everyone will get their turn", Lucifer purred. This shouldn't sound as appealing to her as it did. The way they spoke to each other, it was like delicate foreplay. As though the scene didn't start at the club, but began far earlier in an unspoken manner.
"Okay I'll agree to come. As long as no one openly has sex...", Chloe said in warning.
"I can guarantee a lack of sex, however I cannot guarantee the absence of orgasms", Lucifer replied in a lurid tone.
"I guess that will have to be good enough", she grumbled. "I have to go pick up Trixie from school, I'll meet you back here tonight".
"Lovely", Lucifer said beaming.