Looking For The Light (Book 2)

Looking For The Light Chapter 33 - Zifa

            Zifa wheeled herself down Yuri’s hall.  He wasn’t in any of the common areas.  No one from the kitchen staff reported seeing him.  The orderlies that attended their floor only shook their heads when asked.  The only person that would know was his nurse.

Zifa had seen people come and go from the hospital.  Sometimes quickly, especially when they self-admitted.  Some were urgent to get back to their duties, or didn’t want to be burned of the stigma if they stayed in the hospital too long.  But these people usually took the opportunity to say good bye to their friends.  There was usually word about someone getting out.  This was not one of those occasions.

Yuri had been absent from social functions for three days now.  If it were just one, or something that interfered with one of his therapies, Zifa would have just brushed the thought aside.  But he had become a ghost in these halls.  She hadn’t even seen him go to his physical therapy that morning, and she had been waiting for him.  Stalking him.  No, they friends.  She was waiting.

“I’m sorry Miss Rahman, Mr. Utkin isn’t taking visitors right now.” Nurse Blom apologized as she slipped from Yuri’s room.  She wasn’t wearing the normal nurses’ whites.  Blom was dressed in her own sweater and black pants.  Blom had worn the same thing the day before.  She must not have gone home between shifts.  And for her to be out of uniform, she must have been called in without a chance to change.  So Yuri must be in some sort of trouble.

“I was just worried.  I haven’t seen him around for a few days.”  She was surprised when the truth slipped from her lips.  She would have lied if she had to, but anything she came up with wouldn’t have been as good as the truth.

“He’s… not doing well right now.  He just needs time.” Blom offered a tight smile to cover her lie.  Of course, she couldn’t be honest with Zifa about why Yuri wasn’t taking visitors.   That would be violating his confidentiality, and his trust.  But she was a poor liar just the same.  Zifa would have denied Yuri was in the room, and simply said that she was just dropping something off, or picking something up.  There was something different about Nurse Blom.  She was a rare sight in the hospital – a nurse that cared about her patient enough to come in on her day off, to sit at his bedside and hold his hand.

“Just… Tell him that I’m came to see him.” Zifa was exhausted.  She was barely friends with Yuri.  Honestly, she didn’t know why she even cared so much.

As she turned and started to wheel away, Blom called out.  “Miss Rahman, wait!”

Zifa looked over her shoulder, to see Blom opening the door to Yuri’s room.  Blom waved her hand at the door, motioning for Zifa to slip in quickly.  Naturally, she obeyed.  Oh yes, Nurse Blom was a rare kind indeed.

Yuri’s room was dim, quiet.  There the beeping of medical machines, but that was almost silence in the hospital.  Utkin was in his bed, he was stripped of his clothes and covered by a blanket.  A piece of gauze was taped to his side.

“What happened?” Zifa wondered aloud.  But it wasn’t Nurse Blom that supplied the answer.

“I tried to kill myself.” Yuri answered from the bed.  She didn’t even know he was awake.

“Yuri… Yuri why?” Angry, Zifa wheeled up to his bed.  “What happened to getting better?  What happened to doing it for your friend and his daughter?”

“Mikhail is coming home.  They sent the teams for him.  I’ll have to answer for what I’ve done.  I can’t face him.”  Yuri’s voice waivered.  “I can’t… I can’t.  I’m a killer… A killer…”

“An orderly found him in his bathroom when he came to empty the trash.  He keeps pulling the gauze off, and trying to get up.  He won’t eat, and he can only manage a few words before he just starts calling himself a killer again.”  Blom explained.  “Dr. Csilla thinks it might be related to withdrawal from the pills he was on, and the alcohol he was self-medicating with.”