Childhood // Minsung ✔

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Jisung stood still, eyes blown wide as he felt Minho's lips move against his own. He stayed that way for the next few seconds, before realising what was actually happening. He began to kiss back as the urge of his bottled up emotions came rushing down.

He loosened his grip on the elder's waist - from the hug - to then only pull him closer once again. Jisung had always compared Minho to a missing puzzle piece. It had always been in his life, yet, he couldn't quite connect it.

The caress of his lips softer than Jisung could have imagined. Yes, he had kissed the elder once before, but compared to this - right now - it was a totally different feeling. Not even comparable.

The warmth - of their lips colliding - spread all over his body. He wanted more and more. Yet, it didn't feel right, not with how Minho was feeling right now. He was aware that Minho was feeling conflicted and vulnerable, and that there were different kinds of emotions rushing through his body which led to this.

He's just overwhelmed by emotions, he doesn't know what he's doing.
This isn't right.

And as soon as that thought had crossed the younger's mind, they pulled away, out of the kiss. Minho froze, wide-eyed as if he was shocked by his own actions, and Jisung saw a glimpse of regret in Minho's eyes. Regret, and fear?

"Minh-" Jisung began, but couldn't finish his sentence as he was interrupted from saying anything more.

"I'm so sorry," The elder said in a strangled voice. "I- I shouldn't have-" He stammered. "I didn't mean to do that."

"It's okay," Jisung murmured, sympathetically looking into Minho's eyes. He was afraid of seeming too disappointed if he didn't. In fact, he wasn't quite sure how to react, to the sudden kiss or to the elder male's show of regret. "Don't worry about it." Yet he couldn't help but wonder if Minho's heart was beating as fast as his own, or if his insides felt like they were on fire. No, just you, Jisung.

"Please, just forget this happened," Minho muttered. He slightly pushed Jisung aside and left the bathroom. This left Jisung stunned, he didn't know if he should run after him or just let him be. He wondered why he didn't just take a step backwards, or stop Minho from initiating the kiss.
I'm so stupid.

~~~

The elder reappeared into the living room, and excused himself, saying that he had somewhere else to be. He bid them all goodnight as he slowly left the house, to eventually speed up out of frustration.

He ran down the pavement until the house was no longer in sight and finally slowed down. His heart was beating contingently in his chest, and it wasn't because of the short run or because he was out of breath. I'm so stupid.

He cursed himself for letting his emotions get the better of him and for ever believing in his own lie.

He thought his feelings for Jisung were still as brotherly as they used to be, but they weren't. After the first kiss they had shared, he was hoping Jisung would believe that it was purely platonic. And somehow when thinking it, he started believing it himself, not wanting it to be true.

If he wouldn't have been so dumb by kissing him the first time that he did, he probably wouldn't even have developed these feelings towards him. Strong feelings.

His father won't ever approve - nor allow - of this. Him being happy. He had been feeding him, to keep living, only to make his life miserable. To make him suffer. Behind that thick mask of kindness and caringness that his father put on, there was a big pile of satan.

Nobody knew what his father used to do during his absences from work but Minho. And he can't tell anyone, yet it somehow scarred him.

His father's words kept roaming around inside of his head as the taste of Jisung's lips still lingered against his own.

"No one will ever love you, I'll make sure of that. If someone ever does, I'll ruin it for you. Disgrace."

Maybe he had changed, his father that is. It had been over six years since those words came out of his mouth. Maybe he didn't despise his son anymore. Just maybe.

He was an adult now and he had learned to stand up for himself. His father doesn't bother him anymore now, he barely ever saw him anymore, even when at home. Yet, the scar is too big to forget. Trauma.

Tears came streaming down his face, he wasn't able to control any of his emotions anymore. Fortunately for him, the rain suddenly started pouring down as the night sky had set. This is all my fault.

~~~

Jisung flopped back onto the sofa, speechless. He had no idea what was going on inside of Minho's head. He sighed and softly slapped himself, snapping himself out of it as he cleared his throat.

"What happened?" Hyunjin questioned.

Jisung scoffed. "I wish I knew,"

The three of them narrowed their eyebrows, indicating for him to keep talking. "I hope you don't mind that I used your first aid kit. He had a wound at the side of his neck, I took care of it."

"That's fine," Hyunjin said unsurely, knowing there was something else going on. Yet, he felt as if Jisung wouldn't tell them anything, so they went back to watching the movie.

Jisung's mind was everywhere but paying attention to the movie. He didn't want to pry, so he didn't run after him, even though he wanted to do so. Seeing Minho broken, made him a little broken as well.

He let out a quiet but hearable groan and shook his thoughts out of his head. "Guys, I gotta get going," He said as he stood upright. He bid them all goodnight, waving at them as he opened the front door. "See ya." And with that, he exited the house, leaving a bit of worry in every one of his friends their minds.

[A/N]
Oh daddy dearest I guess oof
Welllll hellooooo everyoneeeee, how y'all doing? I dunno how I'm doing tbh...
I rlly wanna kill this bitch from my class cuz UGHHH she's such a jdjdjdjjdkdjd

😔😔

Q: In which country do you live?
(No specifics obvs)

A: Belgium

To be continued ;)