One month is a lot of time. 30 days. Or sometimes even 31. Best case you have 744 hours. That is a lot of time. You can do a lot in 744 hours. At least, that Ian has thought so far.
Every single second possible of the following 30 days Ian spends with Anthony. He learns how to cook Anthony's favorite meals, he goes out with him, they watch movies together, have long late-night conversations, do a sight-seeing tour through Los Angeles, and, finally, Ian takes Anthony to see the Pier Aquarium. He aim is to make Anthony as happy as possible.
It's as if Ian fears that every moment he spends with Anthony could be the last. He knows this is stupid, and negative thinking, and not the outcome Ian hopes for at all. However, this thought crosses his mind every single time they do something together. This could be the last time he sees Anthony smile. The last time he feels his body against his own. The last time his arms embrace him. The last time they kiss.
And it seems that Ian's subconscious has been right all along.
Ian has noticed it around the 20th day. Anthony has gotten weaker again. The meds are not having the same effect as before. He has even checked back with Dr. Burke to ask whether he increase the dosage. But it has been all in vain. Anthony is getting weaker. His heart is slowly giving up. And that stupid pager won't make a single sound.
It's Sunday morning. Ian is standing in the kitchen, preparing breakfast and making coffee. Tea for Anthony, though. It's a quite healthy breakfast. Tomatoes, scrambled eggs, whole-wheat bread, and for later fruit salad and yoghurt. Ian sets the table when he sees Anthony walking down the hallway. He smiles softly at Ian, scratching the back of his head and messing up his hair. Sleepy Anthony has always been Ian's favorite mood. His boyfriend is too cute to handle in that state.
"Morning.", Anthony greets him and pecks Ian on the cheek. "You made breakfast?"
"Yup. Only the best for you."
Recently Ian has trouble keeping a straight and strong voice. It seems like it's about to break every time he speaks. Maybe he's coming down with something.
They sit down at the table, taking seats right next to each other, and dig in. At least Ian is hungry. Anthony tries to eat the whole plate but fails. He stops after a few bites. Either it's the fatigue or the exhaustion or... or it's Anthony's body giving up completely. A why-bother-kind-of attitude.
"Hey, you ate almost everything!", Ian lies, trying to sound positive and cheerful. "That's good. At least you got some food in your system now."
Anthony simply nods and rubs his eyes.
"Why don't you lie down again? Rest a bit? I'll wake you up later when lunch is ready.", Ian suggests.
Normally, Anthony protests and talks back, telling Ian that he is not sleepy and he can't tell him what he is supposed to do. That has happened every day, basically. But not today. Today Anthony agrees with Ian. He gets up, kiss Ian gently on the forehead and walks slowly back to his room.
Ian watches him disappear. Literally. One moment he is there, and the next he isn't. He blinks several times and Anthony reappears. He turns around one more time, looking at Ian lovingly, before stepping inside his room. Ian sighs deeply. No. No tears today. Strength, Ian. Hope. That's what is expected from you.
Daisy suddenly gets up from her gigantic pillow and follows Anthony to his room. He left the door ajar for her. He always does that. He loves having Daisy beside him when he sleeps. Ian has noticed and so he doesn't scold him anymore when Anthony leaves the door to their common bedroom open.
Anthony should be fine for now. Ian ponders the possibility of going outside for a run. Then he thinks about heading to the office and get some more work. This will take only around two hours. He won't be gone long.
