Profession

Old friends

New Years Eve was at my house again, and this time it was sort of a work/party setup. I had the main computer ready for installation at Jinx and Ari's downstairs workspace, and part of the time was explaining the installation to them. It wasn't hard, the physical computer was about the size of a breadbox, quite a bit smaller than the Titans' one, and it was mostly a cabling issue that would provide a link between that computer and the smaller one I'd built for downstairs. Then I had Jinx, Justine, Ari, and Imogen try on their uniforms; they were the only ones that were complete so far. They looked identical aside from the height issue and the body armor and baggy overlayer helped to obscure differences in body shape and muscle. It was looking good. And their inquiries were bearing fruit. They thought they had a line on Professor Pyg. Since he was a danger to others but wasn't causing a panic, they thought that they'd find his location, confirm it, collect information and documentation on his activities, and then send it all in to Uncle Dick's task group since Pyg was an old-school villain.

"I should have your uniforms done by February," I told Nix and Mark as I dry-fit their articulated body armor.

"Can't wait," Nix said. "I want to get this show on the road, wrap it up by the end of the year. Then we can get on with our lives." That was the prevailing sentiment. "I feel like we'll be balancing out some of the harm that our parents have done if we can make sure they receive justice." Nods all around. "Maybe when they're taken care of, you'll feel better, Lys."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, frowning. "I'm doing my best, Nix. The continuing freedom of The Joker and Scarecrow is a concern, but it's not at the top of my list right now." It wasn't. Wrestling with my brain took a lot more of my time and energy.

"It's been almost a year and a half, and you're still afraid all the time. You should be able to go out and have a normal life. You've been having enough therapy; maybe you need to switch your shrinks, get a new approach. Maybe you're allowing yourself to be coddled too much." I glared at him and started removing the armor.

"You have no fucking idea what it was like to be hit with that gas," I said. "I had awful images in my head from what the Joker was threatening me with. If he'd had his way, I'd have been a torso and a head, begging for death, when he was done. Burned, cut, mutilated, raped, until I was completely broken, and then I'd have been dumped on the street, the media would have gotten the story. And the gas... it made everything real. That scenario, as well as every nightmare and humiliation I've had. I couldn't tell reality from the nightmares. Auditory and visual hallucinations, it felt like I could touch and taste and smell everything too. While most of the damage that was inflicted on my brain has been fixed, some of it couldn't be. The last scan I had, on new equipment, showed a little damage still, and my stress reactions have been abnormal for a long time now. So you don't get to sit there and judge me. You have never experienced anything like it and you have no idea just how horrible it was. There are no words to explain it. So really, the fact that I'm not locked up in a soft room still is a huge victory. And that gas has been inventeded. Who knows if Scarecrow has it written down, who has access to it, who could steal that formula and use it for themselves? That's a huge risk for everybody, if somebody else gets their hands on that formula. The genie is out of the bottle. You don't have to understand how hard it was for me, but you can either shut up or you can leave."

"But--"

"Stow it, Nix," Justine said flatly. "She's right. None of us know what she went through, what it was like, and I don't want to hear the details. I'm just glad that it wasn't me, I know it's selfish, but we're working to make sure that nothing like that happens to anybody else. She's our friend, she was your girlfriend before you got stupid and dumped her, I'd think that you'd have more compassion." Nix flared red, but he shut up. Since the costumes fit, Justine, Imogen, Jinx, and Ari would be taking theirs with them. I'd prioritize the costumes for Nix and Mark just so that that requirement would be done. I was furious with Nix, and it took a big effort not to tell him to get out of my house. But Langley came over and casually herded him away from me, staying between us for the rest of the night. It wasn't a big thing, but it showed that Nix had made a mess, it wasn't just me. And the others kept him on the edge of things too. Still, we managed to recover and move into the social aspect of the evening, watching the ball drop on TV, chatting about other things in our lives, including my sister's engagement.