Profession

New year

Christmas was wonderful; as always, it was a very low pressure event where we got up when we wanted and ate when everything was ready. I still felt like I was getting away with something by not dressing up, hostessing, or using the china, silver, and crystal on a linen tablecloth. Conversation flowed, but rather than feeling like I had to be a hostess, it just felt like normal, being interested in what others were doing. The Kents had made three different types of cookies and chocolate-topped toffee, which we fell back on whenever the urge struck. The day after, Arie, Lois, and Clark returned to Philadelphia. Arie was usually out, at school or doing things, but the house felt a little emptier without her. The pups went up to Asgard to visit their family there, and with John still on vacation, we had the very novel sensation of having the house entirely to ourselves for a week. We remembered quickly how much fun it was to be able to do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted.

Very quickly, it was New Year's Eve day, and we slept in; we were going out for a few hours to the Iceberg with the usual bunch for drinks, dancing, and celebrating, but that afternoon was Derinoe, Grant, and Demeter. We conducted a house tour--Grant hadn't really been in the house aside from holiday parties--and the conversation was less careful and strained than it had been before Christmas. Jon took Grant up to his office, and I was left with Derinoe. "What are you thinking?" she asked. "I can practically see your brain work." Demeter toddled over to one of the dog beds and toppled down, curling up and going to sleep. Well, that's what it was there for.

"It's just astonishing to me that you're not as picky as you were, not the perfectionist."

"I still am particular, at work. Work and Grant are the two things I feel I can be sure of. Even if the board had replaced me, I still would have had a job at Wayne, and I really am good at what I do. I think Grant was second-guessing his decision to marry me off and on for quite awhile, but he's absolutely steadfast where he gives his word, and I've been trying to show him that his faith in me hasn't been misplaced.

"I always wanted to be special, you know? I thought that I was, as a Wayne, but that I was even more special because I'd been chosen to lead, and I thought that my first task was to reassure Dad that he'd made the right choice, because there are a lot of people in our generation who could run the company. Dad chose me because he saw a lot of his own abilities in me. In business, he's best at quickly recognizing opportunities and jumping on them; he has a cadre of highly talented individuals who take what he creates and makes them work in reality and over time. You would have led very differently. It would have been much more collaborative, I realize, with many more voices heard, and Dad just doesn't think that your methods would be as successful. For a long time I agreed; I didn't think of it critically, just followed his lead. And I was wrong. I didn't see what you did when you bought that village in London, I thought you were just trying to horn in on my opportunities, because I felt sure that you would take the opportunity to control Wayne if it was given to you. And it did look like a mess. But I should have been tipped off by Grandma Alex working with you on it. If she hadn't thought it would be successful, she'd have declined to get involved. I should have realized that you'd planned, but I didn't. And I was mad, because you always said you weren't interested in business, but there you were, getting into real estate development. Dad was upset that you hadn't sought his advice, Mom thought you should have at least told him what you were planning, so that he wasn't taken by surprise. You started staying away, cutting contact, and I thought that you couldn't take constructive criticism, that you weren't tough enough. Once I got to college, I fell in with people who were in similar circumstances, the next link in a family calling, although they weren't as big as Wayne. And while I was in grad school, I enjoyed my name recognition, getting the best tables, tickets, the men I wanted to dally with. It was bad for all of my group, that mindset, our big dreams led to big heads, and there isn't one of us who hasn't had a come-uppance since then. Mine was just the most public.