Arumika fanfiction- modern

Chapter 6

I splayed out on my bed that night, moonlight bathing me in its otherworldly calm. I churned over the events of the day. Is Mikasa fucking stupid? Yes, sad she has no parents, but curling up in the cold like some depressed teenager in an anime?
I took a deep breath to fill my lungs, No, it's not right for me to think of her like that, who knows what shes feeling, I instead pulled my thick comforter over my shoulders. It seemed like the Ackerman family was bound to sorrow and bitchy personalities that you can't help but admire and be intimidated by them. Mikasa had at least warmed up to us a bit more when Jean's mom came by to bring her home.

I sighed. On the other hand, she is probably the most attractive female in the school, no one could ignore that fact. Although maybe not cute in the way of how her wet eyelashes dusted her cheeks, shaded under the force of the rain, or how her eyes glittered with irritation despite the soft curves of her eyes that force you to stand still and appreciate. No, terrifying, in how her unsaid muscles moved under her shirt, or her knuckles seemed bruised and dry.

My teeth found my lip thoughtfully, reaching over blindly to my night stand to grapple my glasses. Pulling my computer onto my bed and opening it up. Sadly, I hadn't previously planned on calling Eren or Jean over for some binge watching after the somewhat exhausting day, but alas, seemed like the best way to unwind. I smiled a bit at the thought of the boys, chest warmed.

Least to say I spent the next few hours sucked into some anime I had chosen for that night with a certain crow in the back of my mind.

Afternoon of Friday came in a blur. Backpack thrown over my shoulder and glasses haphazardly dangling on my face. Over the week there have been multiple encounters with Mikasa, and in the end she seemed to fit into our group pretty well. She even started attending the gangs D&D sessions, which was always fun. But now, home. I dropped upon the beloved couch and stretched out, flipping back around to actually get off my school attire.

The D&D game lasted long into the night, probably not the best idea for a school night? But who cares. Sasha pried at poor Mika a lot throughout the game, while Jean and Eren stayed respectfully quiet (not without some sharp glances) but intrigued nonetheless. In the end Mikasa did open up a bit about her parents, her father wasn't really ever in the picture and in her early preteens her mom passed away suddenly after her battle with a stroke. She admitted to it changing a lot about her but she did reside legally with her older brother, even if it pains her to admit she can't be stable on her own. Sasha quieted down a bit after that but the chaotic fun did return, which everyone was thankful for. While Sasha's loud personality did often damage, it seemed the extreme difference between her and Mika somehow rolled a 20.

After changing into comfy clothes I scampered back into my domain. Wriggling under the blankets and pulling out my phone to waste time between research on various subjects, texting, and watching videos. The lights where off and set a gentle relaxed tone in the room, which should make breathing easy and full.

Despite that though, there was an underlying sense of unease strapping my body down from being able to reach full relaxation. Instead it twisted and swelled under my rib cage. Making me glance around warily with agony. This swell continued tell I felt like I couldn't breath. 1, 2, 3, 4-
My eyes grew hot and watery, hyperventilating to try to get enough air into my lungs. The need to vomit, remove whatever illness stuck inside me blurred my mind, but alas this wasn't any physical sickness. That simple thought made me break into sweat, burying my face into my blanket I couldn't help but sob silently. Shaking and tired, I worked hard to scrape myself as much as I could together, curling up tight. I willed to ask someone for help, but who would really listen? Isn't this just a normal occurrence after all? My lips quivered as more thoughts poured in to shun, body as a whole soon joining in my mouth. You're not safe.

As much as it hurt, I cried it out tell I could breathe again and my head felt a little clearer. Empty, but clearer. I took a deep breath, filling my lungs with the much missed oxygen. Maybe that only lasted 10 minutes, but it couldn't have felt longer. Gripping my leg to try to stabilize it and ground myself, I continued to inhale deeply.
Well at least it's out of my system for now, a few days of peace perhaps?
It brought a small smile to my face

Author's Note;
YEAH it's been awhile hasn't it?
I have no idea what I'm doing with this fanfic anymore, but I felt the need after some comments to continue something here!
Felt the need to vent a tiny bit too