"I changed my mind. I'm not ready for this yet." My heart was racing as Turner just parked his car in the school parking lot.
"Shawn, you're going to be just fine. People are going to be so happy to see you back, plus you've practically got nearly every class with Cory." He reasoned, trying to calm me down some, which still wasn't really working.
So many thoughts continued to run through my mind, "I-I can't do it."
"Just give it a try and if anytime throughout the day you feel overwhelmed or something does happen to go wrong, which I doubt will happen then you can just come to my class room." Turner offered and I felt a little relieved knowing that I had some escape plan. "but I'd like if you could try to make it throughout the day, because I really think it would be good for you. Are you ready to go in now?"
I hesitantly nodded and we both got out and walked inside to his room. There's around thirty minutes until class starts and Cory told me earlier he'd come in a little early so I wouldn't have to walk the hallways alone, not that I usually walk them alone anyways though because at school I'm always with Cory. It's just today is different; today I don't want to be alone...
About fifteen minutes later Cory showed up, "I'm so happy that you're finally gonna be back in school! It was so boring without you here, Shawnie."
"Yeah, well I'm glad to be with you too, but I'm not ready to face everybody..."
"Everything will be fine. First period we stay here, then from there we will continue staying together throughout the day. It's not gonna be much different than usiual..."
"Yeah it is, Cor. People are gonna be staring and saying stuff... I already know it."
"Since when did you care about what everyone else thinks/says about you? Shawn, don't let other people bother you. You're the coolest person I know and that won't ever change. Who needs them anyways? Plus, I doubt it will even be that bad." Cory reasoned.
I've been hearing this a lot lately. Maybe they're all right, that it won't be so bad after all. I still can't help but feel nervous. At least I still got the handful of people that do actually care for me though...
Now that I think of it, why do they care about me? After all the trouble I've ever caused; which has been a lot, why do they still care so much about me? I mean, why would anyone even care about me?
I'm a stupid worthless broken nobody that will get nowhere in life, because I'm trailer park trash who always causes so much fucking trouble!
Soon enough the class started to fill up and of course the first thing everyone noticed was me... My heart was racing fast as I already wanted the day to be over. Sure nothing even happened yet, but just the thought of all these people knowing makes me feel sick to my stomach. I could hear whispers all around me as people kept turning back to stare at me some more. As the first bell of the day rung the voices still wouldn't stop.
Turner spoke, "Now that's enough class, let's settle down. Today we are so lucky to have back Shawn, so let's be sure to make him feel welcome to be back."
Why couldn't he just let things go? I was really hoping Turner wouldn't make a big deal about having me back, but of course he did. I know he meant well and probably just wanted me to feel good to be back, but I don't like the attention. I just feel like today's not gonna be a good day, and why would it anyways? After all that's happened it'll probably just get worse from here because whenever good things happen in my life it never lasts long.
🌍 🌎 🌏 🌎 🌍
It was now time for lunch and surprisingly the day turned out to be going pretty decent. It turns out that because Turner has been making sure I've been doing my work I don't really have to make up anything else and all of my teachers have been going easy on me. They've even been telling me how if I need any extra time to do any assignments just ask, because of my concussion.
