There is no End..

It Happened..

Starting this off is going to be a little rocky and i honestly dont care if no one reads it.. I just need to tell my story thank you if you listening period.

I was young innocent if you must.. Ignorant to the real shit in life that is going on. I was lost with to many things going on.
Im sure that doesnt make sense but i have to start from somewhere.
So ill start from the begining.

I was 14 years old and all my friends around me where talking about how they were loosing their virginities.
The conversations always made me uncomfortable because i was still a virgin and the closet ive ever came to even kissing a boy is when i was humping my pillow and pretending it was my crush from school...
And god knows he was bae i was in love at the first sight of him his name was BJ he had a nice muscular body that made me weak. Even at our age he dressed fly as hell true religion pants with a black nike shirt i love when he wore that outfit at school with the retro 13s. Ahhh i can just scream lol.

So back to the conversation my girls and I are having a conversation about them loosing there virginities and my one friend we can call her Jane. She was going into detail about the experience she had..

Basically to keep it cut she said after her and her dude was done fucking some plastic came out her pussy.. I was tramatised. Im like where did the plastic come from? What kind of plastic?, and since when did women start having plastic in their vaginas. Lol i was so confused..
( still to this day i never understood her story).
So my next friend decribes her first time.. Well call her DayDay.
Shes like " girl so when me and my man fucked for the first time it was on the porch, he was quick and i felt nothing but pain no pleasure at all".
I was so confused i thought sex was supposed to be some MAGICAL thing where you become a women and things change.. NOT LOL

So i became obsessed with loosing my virginity. Like i didnt wanna loose it but i wanted to make sure i knew everything about it before i did.
I started searching youtube heavy.
Anything about virginity i was on it.
I was masterbating more (humping the pillow). I wasnt ready to explore my vagina, i was in a way scared of it
Like i needed a manual or something.
What am i supposed to touch, where are my fingers supposed to go. Shit i didnt know so i wasnt trying lol the pillow was good for now.

But i needed to learn more so i started watching porn. Im going to say at first i was uncomfortable with the whole thing.. For some reason watching porn got me really hot and bothered.. I couldnt control my self. I was masterbating atleast three times a day.. It was crazy i felt obsessed..

So one day i went over my friend DayDay house and i loved going over her house.. We were so free, she lived with her grandmother and little sister.
Her sister was noisy and her granny reminded me of New york mom off flavor of love.. Mean and over religious. But she minded her business and shit we was straight.

Her cousin came over and DayDay introduced me to him. Bro it was my crush from school. My heart was beating and i didnt now what to do. I was scared and could barley speak chile.
"Whats up A cup" bj said to me.
I was shocked like i knew i had little boobs i was on the plus size side with wide hips and a fat ass but my boobs where just small.
"Dont call me that" i said " my name is ary"
"Aww dont be mad A cups im just joking with you". Bj said
" im not mad lol im just saying my boobs are not small" i said in my defense.
" let me see then, let me decide" he said
So i let him look down my shirt i mean why wouldnt I hes my crush. He was moving fast but shit this is a chance in a life time i felt.
So DayDay, Bj, and i all chilled for a couple hours laughing and playing around.
It got late so i was about to walk home. But Bj stopped me and asked me to follow him behind this abandoned house. I was kinda scared but wasnt scared enough to not go.
He sat me down on the stairs and pulled his dick out.
" so what you gone do with this" he said
" ive never done this before i dont want it to be bad" i explained
" ill teach you" he said
Now let me say this dont every nigga you come across that wants you to suck his dick be like ill teach you but dont teach you shit... Lol

So after going back and fourth for a while i finally built up the courage to try.. Of course i didnt know what i was doing so i just did what i seen on porn. I licked it for a while and tried to suck it with no teeth. It was harder then i thought but i eventually got the hang of it.. To me it wasnt great but it wasnt the worst.
He came on the ground and we walked back to my friend house.
I tried to kiss him i dont know why i jist felt like i was supposed to. Funny part is he didnt even kiss me. He spinned me and said he dont kiss girls after they got done sucking his dick.
I was kinda hurt, kinda felt stupid but he was my crush and i felt like i accomplished something so i was cool for now.
After we parted ways i immediately went inside to tell DayDay all the details.