My parents found out ive been using drugs.I dont know why, thats all i can say.I dont know i guess for the thrill, or just to get back at my parents.i dont really know, i guess for attention,or maybe just to finally feel something, i dont really say anything but there times i cry myself to sleep or sometimes i feel like i should revert back to self harm. i dont know really, i guess its just better than watching your wrists bleed or something, all i know is smoking is bad but feels so good, like cutting, a person gets a certain sensation outta cutting, or at least i did. its hard to explain but thats how it is cutting deeper makes you more numb, like smoking makes you feel something different, smoking takes you to a whole other world, were nothing hurts. where you feel no emotions of any kind. Lemme tell you why i got into wax, why.? Because it made all the stress disappear. You dont feel inhumane or anything, you just dont feel anything at all, just tingly, like hysteria, it started because of suicide i guess,i was just tired. tired of crying myself to sleep, tired of restless sleep, having mental breakdowns, and panic attacks, it was all so scary i guess.So looking back on it, i just wanted something to look forward to, getting high feels good, but i shouldnt be encouraging it, im not i just wanted to share why.
