Forever Muted

Forever muted chapter 3

I couldn't sleep that night, my head was spinning and I felt myself cry a couple of times, my eyes flickered over to a photo of Matt over on my bedside table, his blonde hair spiking up in odd places, his hazel eyes shining brightly. I don't know where Matt got his looks from, his eyes were darker than mine and my parents and his hair was a golden colour, my Mum has brown hair and I know my Dad had black hair.

I felt a tear roll down my face as I brought myself back to the car crash.

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We were going to the summer night festival, we always went every year, it was a sort of tradition. Matthew pushed me forward and I banged my head on the front of the car, I turned to him anger rising. Matthew always had a thing about getting in the front seat, I smiled proudly as I bet him to the passenger seat, laughing at his sad face.

''Can you not just behave for once?'' My Mum asked, pushing her head into the steering wheel. I heard Matt giggle as he jumped into the back seat and closed the door.

We just set off and Matt refused to put his seat belt on, which made me laugh.

 ''If we get stopped by the police, your paying the fine.'' My Mum said totally serious.

 She was always so laid back and carefree. Matt pulled his tongue out at me from the rear view mirror. I just smiled and watched him roll his eyes at my Mum. I clicked my seat belt in and closed my eyes with my head laid back.

The last thing I remember is being on the motor way and staring out of the window, half asleep then I saw the lights coming towards the side of our car. My Mum screamed, Matt just sat there asleep, his head pressed against the window, Mum tried to swerve round but it didn't work, the lorry crashed into the side of us, crushing Matt in the process. He didn't even scream, he was silent, if only I let him in the passenger seat. His silent sleeping rubbed off on me, making me how I am now.

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A knock at the door interrupted my flashback, my Mum walked in holding a cup of steaming coffee, she handed it to me and put her hand on my cheek, I felt a tear fall. I think my Mum knew what I was thinking about because she pulled me in for a hug and held me tightly in her grip. ''Time for school cupcake.'' She whispered. I nodded and held in the tears that were threatening to fall.

I led myself to the shower and let the scolding hot water hit my body, the glass fogged up in the bathroom mirror as I got out. I didn't see any point in doing my hair, no-one notices me anyway. I pulled on a long black jumper and purple tights and let my hair dry naturally before running downstairs, I put on some pumps and skipped out of the door.

''Need a ride?'' A deep voice asked. I turned my head to the side, Jason was leaned against his house wall opposite me, a cigarette placed in the corner of his mouth, like usual. He looked tired, I could see the bags under his eyes, they stood out on his pale flawless skin. He smirked and let the cigarette fall onto the ground, his foot slid over it and he sighed.

''Cat got your tongue?'' He asked, raising is eyebrows. I shrugged as I watched him walk out of his garden gate, I was about to walk past him when his hand touched mine, I turned and looked down at his scruffy hand, his fingernails looked as though they were never there.  

''I'll give you a lift.'' He insisted. He turned and picked up a black helmet and handed it to me. I took it regardless of the nerves that were stirring inside. I took a deep breath and pushed the helmet on my head. He sat on his motorbike and made the engine growl. I let out the breath I was holding in and sat on the back not knowing where to put my hands.

He laughed and turned, he put his hands in mine and wrapped them around his waist. It felt comforting to hold onto someone but it some what felt wrong.  

He placed his hands on the handle bars and pushed his foot down as we set off. It was exciting since I've never been on a motorcycle before. I noticed Jason wasn't wearing a helmet.

We got round the corner to my school and I wondered how he knew where it was. People's heads turned as he parked up next to the curb. I pulled off his helmet and handed it back to him, he gave me a comforting smile and put his and on my shoulder pushing me back slightly then he set off. I felt my heart get faster as I felt the touch of him. I smiled to myself as I entered he school grounds.