Forever Muted

Forever muted chapter 5

I slyly walked away from Jason, entering through my own gate. I got to the door and dared myself to touch on the handle, it's not like my Mother could be that obsessed with babies just yet, I mean she's only just found out the news, right? I stole a breath of air before pushing onto the door, suddenly regretting my decision. As soon as I got into my house, my Mum's body poked out from the kitchen, my Mother wasn't exactly the skinny model, she was getting older and I couldn't blame her eating habits with all the stress that's pushed onto her.

How she can cope with having a baby is beyond me.

I slammed the door, trying to get her attention. Her head snapped up from whatever she was doing and peaked around the edge of the door. I gave a little wave, walking towards her wondering what the hell she was doing. I stopped at the kitchen door and leaned against the door frame, my eyes landed on an argos catalogue, the baby section clearly open. I stared at her in horror, shaking my head slightly. She doesn't even know the sex of the baby and she's already thinking about what he can buy it. Im not even going to give any respect to the devil child she's supposedly having.

''Gemma, how about this for the baby?'' Mum asked me, gesturing towards a £660 cot, I shook my head in disbelief. My feet automatically turned away and I made my way upstairs.

''If your going to come home early, the least you can do is help me!'' She called as I made my way upstairs. That's the least I can do, the least she could have done was not get pregnant, that would have helped me. ''Oh and you better not be late for counselling this time!'' She added as my foot tapped the top step. I bit my lip as i entered my room, I was always late for counselling, purposely late. I didn't see the point in it since they know for certain I won't talk to them, I  probably would talk if someone understood what I was going through, but no-one understands because no-one knows accept from my Mum but she's over it now. I'm not.

I stood on my bed and reached up to my cupboard on my tip toes. My hand eventually pulled it open and I yanked out the first thing I could reach. I got out of my school uniform and walked over to my wardrobe, the hoodie I happened to pull from my cupboard still in my hands. I changed into some  faded jeans and a tee-shirt and pulled the blue hoodie over my head.

I glanced over at my clock to see that I had plenty of time until counselling, then I had to go to dinner at Jason's house. Oh the joys of blushing in front of someone you don't even know. I sighed and laid back onto my bed, sinking into the comfortable mattress.

My head tilted to the side and I caught a glance of my brother's photo on my bed side table. I wondered what he'd look like now, he was so handsome, he'd be a heart breaker if he was still here. I fought down the tears that were stinging through my eyes and somehow I managed to keep them from falling down my cheeks.

 ''Gemma! Come here for a second!'' My Mother's voice echoed up the stairs. I forced myself from my comforting bed and walked out of my room and to the top of the stairs, pausing for a second when I saw her at the bottom.

''Can you go to the supermarket for me? I need some milk.'' She requested, her eyes pleading at me.

 I was about to head straight back into my room when I realised if I go shopping maybe I can skip out on counselling, suddenly I nodded and rushed down the stairs. I accpeted the credit card my Mum pushed at me and headed for the door until a soft hand landed on my shoulder.

 ''Get something for yourself.'' She whispered to me. I nodded and carried on out of the door. Mum genuinely seemed like she cared then, or maybe she's just a good actress.

I swooped out of my door and down the garden path, hoping not to be faced with Jason again. Thankfully he wasn't in his usual place by the gate and I slowly stalked down the street. My mind fluttered away and Jason popped up n my head again. What could he have possibly done to make everyone think of him in a bad way? My Mum seems fine with him, maybe she just doesn't pay attention to the neighbours. Although my Mum is the nosy type, she thinks it's fine to invade other people's life and tell them how to live it, exactly how she does with me. She forces me to go counselling, mainly because she need someone to talk to, I don't think my Mum has a lot of friends ever since Matt died. She hasn't been very social, like me then.

She certainly seems the talker since she's pregnant, I hope to God it's not anyone I know. Maybe my Dad's the father. No. I can't think like that, building up hopes that won't be true. My Dad wouldn't get involved with my Mum again, he didn't want us, not any of us. He's probably over in the caribbean with his model like girlfriend and a whole new family, so much better than ours. I doubt my Dad was Matt's father, he looked nothing like him, he had my Mum's nose but that's about it, my Dad's features weren't anywhere to be found on his innocent little body.

Sometimes I wonder if he did anything wrong. Why he had to die, or why the lorry couldn't have hit someone else. It's a horrible thing to say but I wish it did, everything would be different if Matt were still here, everything would be sane.

I wiped my tear filled eyes and carried on my trail to the supermarket, I reached the automatic doors and stepped through them straight away. My eyes followed the aisle's, looking for anything that interested me. I was about to go down the milk aisle when someone pulled on my hoodie. I turned around quickly to find a familiar looking girl around my age stood in front of me. She had baby blue hair and a fringe that covered her make-up filled face, her eyes were dark and she was wearing the shortest skirt I'd ever seen, topped off by a tight shirt with a small bow in the corner, near her collar bone. ''Your Gemma right?'' She guessed. I nodded, surprised she knew my name, I wondered who she was. She giggled slightly, exposing her teeth, a shine came from inside her mouth, I could clearly see from the lighting. Maybe a tongue stud?

''I'm Cat, I'm in your math's class.'' She answered my thoughts. I made an O shape with my mouth, I've never seen he before. ''I'm new at your school.'' She answered again, as i she could read my mind. I nodded once and the corner's of her mouth turned into a smile.

 ''What are you here for?'' She asked as if it wasn't the most obvious thing to know why I was at a supermarket. I gestured my hand towards the milk aisle and she nodded, understanding.

''I'll come with you.'' She suggested, leading me towards the milk. I furrowed my eyebrows confused as why she even wanted to talk to me. She looked cool, the type of punk rock girl who'd be in a band or someone you'd see on MTV and think how much you'd like to be in her body.

''Im here for my brother's birthday present, he wanted a pet Snake but my Mum refused.'' She stated as  followed her down the aisle. I stopped at the milk section and pulled up the blue carton.

 ''My brother's called Fin.'' She carried on, without me asking.

''Do you have any siblings?'' She asked, seeming interested. My throat felt dry, I was about to nod until I realised in actual fact I didn't, not anymore. I shook my head quickly making her frown.

 ''That's too bad, my brother's seven, most girls want sister's but im more of a tom boy.'' She claimed. Was she just trying to make me jealous? I nodded and sighed, obviously she wasn't  a quiet girl.

''Will you come to the toy aisle with me?'' She urged. I didn't answer, just followed her along the aisle, trying not to get distracted by the amount of people staring at her, women stared at her in disgust, men however stared at her with a satisfied look upon their face.

Cat began snatching things off the shelf, by the time she was finished she bought about 6 toy cars and a toy gun. ''So do you need anything else?'' She asked as she walked away from the pay counter. I was supposed to be buying something for myself but since I have company I told myself not to. I shook my head and stared at her in confusion as she linked her arm through mine. How confident was she?

''Do you want to come to my house?'' She suggested. ''Since you don't have any brother's or sister's, it would be nice to hang out with mine for a bit, Fin would be pleased to have a visitor.'' She told me. I sighed and gave in, defeated. It couldn't hurt anyone, right? Anyway it would get me out of counselling and I'd not have to listen to my Mum talk about babies.

I followed Cat through the car park, taking small steps as she dragged me along. We reached an old looking ford and she smirked and unlocked the passenger door telling me to get in. I followed her instructions and waited until she got in the other side.

 ''You know what's funny.'' She began expecting me to ask what. She sighed but carried on.

 ''Your nickname's mousy and my name's Cat.'' She laughed. Her words caused a smile to appear on my face. Maybe making friends wasn't so bad after all.

We were on the corner of her street when I remembered about the dinner I had to go to tonight, great. Just great.

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Sorry it's a bit of a boring chapter, the next one will be better  :)