the day everything changed ( one direction )

part 64

None the less i push liam away.

“ I can’t “ I whisper slowly getting up and walking out .

I face a confused liam and shoot him an apologetic look.

He also gets up “ you can’t what ?” he whispers.

I step a few steps backwards away from him .

“ I can get you hurt like this “ I mention between the two of us .

He looks more confused by the minute.

I sign and sit on the couch .

After debating if he would sit down as well he sits opposite from me.

He leans his arms on his knees and looks at me .

The muscles that are visible true his tight fitting shirt flex visible .

“ I  am afraid I don’t really understand what you mean “ he says .

I turn my head to look away from his stair .

His stair is to intense , I cant look at him when he looks at me like this .

“ I cant love , not you not anyone “ I say facing the opposite side .

He signs and drops his face in his hands.

“ im sorry “ I mumble getting up once again.

I turn to walk to my room as liam calls my name.

“ Samantha “ his voice is rough , full of emotions .

I close my eyes before turning around.

He gets up from his seat and walks to me .

Right in front of me he stops .

“ you can love , you only have to find out how “ he says taking my hands.

I give him a weak smile.

“ im afraid not liam , im 23 and I never could”

Gently I rip my hands from his and walk out my apartment .

I knock next door and ask for zayns number.

Sadly to see he is the only one I can talk about this .

Ruya is still busy doing things with harry -_-

After sending zayn a text I walk to my car.

Screw not driving I need to get my mind of the stubborn idiot in my room.

I hop into my beloved car and make way to the docks .

As I reach the gate zayn is already waiting there for me .

I mention him to follow me .

So slowly I drive to my usual parking spot.

Even doh there is no race today because it was cancelled there are always people.

As im parked I get out and greet zayn with a head nod.

“ whats wrong sam” he asks his face showing concern .

I wave him off and walk to the drinking booth .

Lifting 5 fingers in the air I turn to zayn .

“ later zayn “ I smile weakly .

I never mentioned this to anyone but the fact I cant love is as a blessing and a curse.

Weakly to say I want to have the fairytale romance.

But on the other hand I don’t want to love , cause it only hurts.

As gev gives me my 5 drinks I hand one to zayn.

“ greedy are we “ zayn chuckles .