"You don't know pain until you are staring in the mirror with tears in your eyes, begging yourself to just hold on and stay strong."
Juliet's POV
"I don't have a damn clue," I said to Remus, the both of us still sitting in the back corner of the library trying to figure this mess out. He was now the only person other than myself, my mother, and my brother Fenrir, that knew that I was currently being controlled by Fenrir. I guess it kind of seemed like Remus was obligated to help since he found out, but he really expressed care for helping me, which made me feel warm inside.
Anyways, it was getting dark, but Remus and I had to figure this out.
"It's not like the book that I read from earlier has a step by step process as to how to resist the Imperius Curse, so I don't have a damn clue either," Remus said, talking out the problem.
He flipped through the pages of the book about the Unforgivable Curses, trying to find anything and everything as to how to resist the curse completely.
"See anything yet?" I asked as the smart Remus scanned each page.
"All that's written is this, and it's very vague," he started. "It's extremely rare to resist it, but if a victim of the curse knows that they are being placed under the effects, they're already halfway there. Then comes a bit of a grey area, where the victim must use constant vigilance and extreme mental strength to pull themselves away from whatever the caster is forcing them to do."
What am I supposed to do with that? Last I checked, if my mental strength were to be given a grade, I'd probably get a -B or a B if I'm lucky. And what am I supposed to do to mentally pull myself away from what Fenrir wants me to do? Meditate or something?
"Well, that's about as vague as you can get," I said to Remus, who nodded his head in agreement.
"I know, I have absolutely no idea how I'm going to be able to resist the curse, especially since the next full moon is only a couple days away." I said, thinking out loud.
"Wait, the full moon," Remus started to say, "when you're a werewolf you can't control yourself. So it'll only make it harder for you to resist."
Ugh, that just added to the problem! How am I going to be able to resist the urge to attack, especially when I'm a werewolf? I had absolutely no idea what to think of from here. Remus and I pondered over what to do, coming up with questions and realizations that could potentially help me combat the curse, but we were interrupted by one of the librarians.
"Wrap it up, kids. The library closes in ten minutes," she said in a harsh tone, clearly wanting us to go as soon as possible.
I can't believe that Remus and I had spent hours in the library trying to figure this out; the time just flew by. Remus grabbed the book on the unforgivable curses and stuffed it into his backpack, meanwhile, I cleaned up reports and papers that we had taken down from the shelves earlier while trying to research how to combat this curse. We soon left the library within ten minutes and headed back for the Gryffindor dorm rooms. Nearly everyone was already getting reading for bed, therefore it was just Remus and I walking through the long corridors.
I tried to think of anything and everything that could help he try to beat this, but I couldn't I was so frustrated, and it was noticeable as we were walking because Remus reassured me and told me that everything was going to be alright. His warm smile made everything go away for a moment. It felt nice to have someone help me fight this, even though I was still keeping the secret that my brother, Fenrir, was really the one who had me under this curse.
Once we had made it back to the dorms, before going off to our own rooms, Remus said, "Don't worry Juliet, I'll help you in any way that I can. You won't get hurt. Not on my watch." Remus and I then parted ways, and I entered into my own dorm room to find Alice and Marlene already fast asleep, but Lily up reading a book.
"Back a little late are we?" Lily smirked, raising her ginger eyebrows in suspicion.
"I was just studying with Remus, that's all," I said in reply.
"Alright, Juliet, whatever you say..." Lily said in a joking way, clearly assuming that Remus and I were more than friends. But we weren't. Despite what Lily thinks. So I simply laughed off her comment and got ready for bed. By the time I was done, Lily was fast asleep, quietly snoring into her pillow.
While I lay in bed, I thought of how on earth I was supposed to fight Fenrir's forced urges, and it felt like I had two personalities and two different viewpoints inside my head. All of the worries and thoughts from my real-life wants on one side, and the desire to fulfill Fenrir's wishes on the other side. It felt like both sides were at war, giving me a piercing headache and confusing nightmares about anything and everything that could go wrong. My brain felt like it was on fire, with no way of putting it out.
It was that same balloon feeling, where I felt like I was going to explode, except ten times more stressful and disturbing. I kept getting a flashback vision of the night in which Fenrir cast the Imperius Curse on me, getting darker and scarier each time it replayed inside my head.
Those two separate viewpoints felt as if they were out for blood with each other, trying to overcome each other. I sweat through my night clothes and my sheets trying to mentally undertake it all. I don't think I got any sleep that night. I had too many thoughts, too many worries, too many questions, and too much pain and confusion clouding my mind to get any sleep.
Word Count: 1025
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𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐘𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊 ❧ remus lupin
Adventure"Juliet, no one else can know that you're a Greyback." Juliet Fletcher. A normal girl, by the looks of it. Only the select few knew her identity of a werewolf and her true last name of Greyback. She succeeded in hiding a dark family past with a smil...
