The unpredictable lie (Complete)

chapter 4 forgivness

I Suddenly stopt just outside in the corridor. I had suddenly realized that I couldn't just leave Kaiya if that was the real name. not all vulnerable laying on the floor all undressed like that. No matter how I felt about her. No Him. I was taught better then to turn my back on someone whit out checking on their well being. Even though I felt mad, betrayed and sick to my stomach over what I had seen and found out I had to admit there was also a twinge of guilt and worry. Not that I had anything to feel guilty about. I wasn't the one lying. Yet my honor just wouldn't let me leave. At least I could do was give the guy my shirt to cover himself whit and make sure he wasn't hurt from the guys actions. so I stopt in my tracks in the hallway and turned around, walking back the way I came and I went back into the bathroom, well there I went after some water and dry papper towls. then headed over to Kaiya ore who ever he was. My heart Broke when I saw him still sprawled on the floor, clothes in a mess ripped ans tussled. Her trying to hide herself whit silent sobs. Him I meant. The pain that I felt in my heart at the sight of her I mean him was calming My Ravaging rage I had had just moments before. She was just such a pathetically sad vision. in front of my eyes, laying there all alone on the floor. worriedly I sat down in front of her no him and started drying Kaiyas face away from tears and streaming makeup as gently as possible not to scare him. I realize this might actually partially be my fault. Him being in this state. No one would have known to check what she was if I haden't told them about everything. It didn't make me any less mad over being deceived ore anything. But I had to take part of the blame for being so stupidly cocky that a pretty girl had taken notice of me. I mean what if she/him hadn't been hiding anything and they still done this. Who knows where that could have LED to. That would not have been Honorable at all for me to have caused. An the fact is that bragging like I had done was actually very unworthy to. Specially to strangers. Yeah I was partially to blame for what had happened and I had to take responsibility over that fact and apologies to him. 

-this was my fault...I'm so sorry......are...did...they do anything to you...?did they force you...to...  Kaiya shaked his head looking up at me whit the saddest eyes I ever seen.                                       -no.Neji... I'm...sorry...I'm...the longingly heart broken look she no he had made me feel a jilt of what I had felt earlier about her, when I still didn't know her secret.when I realized that I haden't completely lost that even though I now knew made panic rise and I spewed out at him.                   -IM not GAY! or...am i...? I felt myself ask hesetantly afterwards, as I heard myself ask that I had to force myself to keep the anger down. It was like an emotional rollercoster at this point. why me? Why did this happen to me. I had just wanted a normal girlfriend to cherish. Not this.                           -I don't WANT to be GAY...you understand? I said harshly. Kaiya started shaking and new tears ran down his cheek. I could tell I hurt his feelings.                                                                                            -I'm sorry I'm so sorry..i...shouldn't had lied...i..shouldn't done anything. She/ he managed to get out through the sobs.                                                                                                                                           -dose it mean i am gay Kaiya?                                                                                                    -no...you...you only...liked...the fantasize me...the...girl I'm not... your not...I'm sorry..i wish i where..really do.                                                                                                                                                      - but you are. aren't you? you wouldn't have done...those things otherwise. Kaiya tried to hide even more of himself, pulling the fabrics of his ripped clothes. the skirt not covering much anymore and the open blouse torn. I took of My school jacket and put it on Kaiya. In a way I did still care for him. I still saw the girl in him. And I had really cared for her. But then I then shrugged it away bitterly, being quite for the longest time.                                                                                                               -yes...i...liked you...i...always have...I'm so sorry....I ruined everything you aren't gay. you where just tricked...I'm horrible I'm so sorry.  -but I AM...I must be.. becuse I can't get you out of my head. you where stuck there! your taste! your smell even the DAMNED picture of you when they had there filthy hands on you! its all there! Stuck! tormenting me. Dammit....put on the jacket i'll follow you home so you can change...i growled and got up, i was pisst and so confused i didn´t even know all the resons why i was so angry becuse Kaiyas secrets and humilation wasn´t all of it. i just really needed to think. alone. but at the same time i knew i would regrett it later if i turned my back on someone in need of help, so i swallowed it down. i can rage later in my room. when i was alone.