The secret

10

JB,

It hurts me more than you think.

It's like being alone no matter what.

Everyday where you expect me to work for you.

Wake up for you.

Get things ready for you before myself.

When I leave at five in the morning for work.

I'm getting up at three so you have everything you need.

I get home at seven.

Then I work another two hours.

You bother me afterwards to hangout.

Tell you I love you, even if it's not passionate or anything.

Stay awake most of the night for you.

Don't have time to make food for myself.

Just time to make food for you.

Wash your clothes when sometimes I have to go to a dry cleaners.

You say I shouldn't complain.

I make more money than you is the excuse.

But I rarely keep any of it.

It goes to my parents, and five siblings so they can relax.

Have a normal life.

You blame it all on me.

Hit me, taze me for ignoring you.

Bring other people back to our apartment.

The apartment I pay all the rent for, give most of my money to my family, and the rest to the people living in my house.

Kiss them, touch them.

Do it in my face so I'll feel shame.

Do it so I'll feel sad. Useless. Unneeded.

Go fuck them in our room.

Get mad at me for caring.

Expect me to always be there, which I am.

I've quit work for you.

Skipped school for you.

I started cutting again

Started missing my time.

Just for you.

I don't even have time for myself unless I stay up all night.

You've kicked me out.

Had one night stands well with me, and I'd go to my house and cry.

Then when I come back you claim I'm overreacting.

You grab that taser.

You threaten me.

Then you do it and tell me to listen.

Cheat all the time.

I don't dare say anything.

I don't run like I used to.

I don't fight like I used to.

I just wished you could at least care about me..

But that'll never happen.

-WB