Last words.

Last words (3)

I can honestly say, holding my hands up and not crossing my fingers, that I am not in a correct mental state. Whether that be from the loss of a father figure at a young age, or the fact that the newer one alienated me and my mother loved him, I'll never know. Part of me is incredible frustrated through this, and another part of me just wants to murder the man who ruined my life. However, I am no killer, and I wouldn't want to take another life unless I have to, so I simply won't.

See? That's a perfect example of depressing your emotions. I just depressed a large pool of anger, frustration, and upset that course through my veins that liquid metal.

It's that power that will give you a level headed mind, and a superb future. For if you cannot feel, you cannot be swayed from your current task. No man, woman, or child can stop you, and that is either the most ecstatic feeling for you and everyone else, or a one way ticket to becoming a psychopath.

Once in a while, turn your feelings back on, and just understand what and why you did what you did. Trust me, doing that will keep you sane, and as I said, if you become insane, your life is over. It's lights out for you.

The reason I wrote this book is to try and reach out to all those who need help, through conventional or otherwise. I know I sound crazy, but deep down, I know something you don't.

This will be you. You will become what I am: a careless, free human.

I sound upset constantly, but I'm not. I'm really not. I honestly can promise you that you'll only hate yourself when you turn your feelings back on.

99% of the time? You'll love yourself and what you've managed to do. Ask anyone who's become famous: completely repelling every single thought in your head that isn't money or to move forward. It sounds awful, doesn't it?

That's because you still use your emotions.

I give a challenge for you all. Turn your emotions off. Go ahead, turn them off. Go for it.

If you've managed to do that successfully, read my last chapters. You'll understand if you come back here and feel no different.

Go on. Off you go.

I'm not kidding.

Go on.

I'm serious.

Please. It'll help you, I promise.

G'wan.

Right.
That's outta the way, now you can understand the true power of not feeling an emotion.

It's like a raging fire that you want to consume everything in sight, or a bolt of pure lighting hitting multiple targets at once, or a nuclear explosion killing everyone but you. It's like a radiation surge directly entering your bloodstream, sending shocks of pure, deadly, burning poison through you.

At the end of the day, not feeling anything is a poison. It's a ducking deadly poison, but pretty much all of you would happily pick this poison than slowly die of the feelings you currently deal with.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do think I'm correct.

I'm slowly dying from the poison I've give myself. I'll be insane in around 10 years, if I even make it that fucking far. My days are numbered, but I'm not upset about it. I'm slowly losing the ability to feel, regardless of whatever anyone else says. No therapist can drug me back into feelings something, no psychiatrist can train my brain again. I was fucked from the beginning, like you probably were.

Honestly, we're just a big group of fuck ups, aren't we? We're all just genuinely fucked. Our heads are fucked with the messages were told, our bodies are fucked due to physical abuse, and our minds are altered by everything we see.

And yet we're all expected to be little obedient robots that follow everyone else's command. I can't. Not anymore. And I don't think anyone else can either. You can tell who's struggling, because the mask society told them to wear is finally starting to crack open and reveal the inner struggle. The inner struggle that so many mentally ill people have to go through. It's such a struggle for most people who suffer from all sorts of mental illnesses.

If you see someone struggle, help. In any way possible. If that means you have to leave them alone, then do so.

A human can help themselves better than anyone else. Some people just don't realise that yet.

As a wise man once said 'you can hurt a human, you can change a human, you can even kill a human, but you can never change how they think'