Last words.

Last Words. (2)

'No one cares.'
'What am I supposed to do?'
'How can I help you?'
'Someone is out there that can help you better than I can'
'I can't do this anymore. Goodbye'

These are the normality. These are wha I expect everyday. These simple, blank, defensive saying are the normality at this point. I'm not expecting anything anymore from anyone, and no one like me is.

If there is anyone like me.
There's got to be, I can't be the only one. The only feeling I'm used to is loneliness, so I'm fucking confused as to why the world thinks that socialising seems to be an answer to some mental health problems.

I'd rather be on my own, working through my thoughts, and how the fuck I'm supposed to get though each day whilst no one understands exactly what the fuck I'm going through, instead of trying my hardest to paint the visuals of a fucking ecstatic, stupid, clown on my face for 6 hours straight, 5 days a FUCKING WEEK!

I'm sick of it. I can't do it anymore. I can't hold a straight face every day, I can't take being ridiculed for not 'fitting in', because I don't understand what normal fucking people talk about. I can't stand trying to fucking walk through everything on my own, fighting off the demons in my head, and burning all the ties I pass through.

Because, even though I hate it, I can't bring anyone in.
I trust no one, not even my family.
Everyone I've brought in? Heh. They break me in half, and then leave me alone to pick up the pieces. Every single fucking piece.

You don't have to be a genius to understand what the fuck that feels like. It hurts. A fucking lot. It's why I don't believe in love. And, before I continue, don't call me edgy or emo. Fuck you for believing in stereotyping and caging all sort of human beings under one single name. Fuck you for supporting that. Stop supporting it.

If love is real, then, if people really feel this 'love', why do they break up? Why do they put another person through utter agony? Why the fuck do domestic abuse cases happen? Why do a couple fight? Why do they argue? Why do they moan?

If love is such a perfect and beautiful thing, then why do people break other people's hearts? Why? If your precious love is so important, why the fuck didn't you say something to a person? If you truly 'loved' them, you would have.

Your body has tricked you.
You wanna know what love is? Good. Listen up. Read. These. Words. Very. Very. Carefully.

A-hem.
Love is a primal chemical in your body. And all it does is tell you which person you need to mate with.

It's no deeper than that. There's no extra motives, no nothing. Once you've had your kids... then what? Why do you think there's so many single parents out in the world?

Their brain tells them 'you've done what you need to do, now move on.'

It's a psychological test. You have to be able to shut your body off to emotions, and train your brain to almost become blind to these sort of feelings.

Ah, feelings are an interesting one too. Feelings are easily explained.
Imagine a scenario with your crush, if you have one. This scenario leads on to another one, does it not? And this scenario gets increasing more physical, and brings more joy, (due to you being happy about it) or sadness (because you know that you'll never get with them). However, each scenario gets more physical. Each stage will get increasingly physical until you get to the point of mating.

Answer: your body is pre-planning. It's readying itself.

That could either make complete sense, or confuse you even more.

People who do not believe in sex, or do not agree with my view: I don't understand what love is clearly. Losing a parent at a young age and having no one to truly confide in since my mental wall simply refuses to allow for such a monumental task has clearly distorted my view. If you'd be so kind as to leave a comment around here to explain your view, I'd love that. Simply telling me I'm wrong doesn't help. Explain. Thank you :)

At the end of the day, there's only one person you can rely on. It's not your mother or your father, it's not your best friend, it's not your brother or sister, it's not even the person you hold close to you, because, if they had the chance to simply forget you ever existed and move on with their life, they would. And they'd do it in a heartbeat.

The person you have to rely on is yourself. Train your body to resist the emotions that pull you down. Train your body to resist everything that you know will harm you. Don't harm your body. Don't fight with your feelings: depress them, or do your best to get rid of them.

At the end of the day, if you can't rely on yourself, you'll be alone. And loneliness builds insanity.

And insanity means game over. You'll never see anyone again. Your life is over if they think you have some sort of mental problem. It's all over for anyone. You ain't getting out again.

So build yourself up. Before someone knocks you over.