Book #1: Straight To The Gay (Jiall Boran)

Love

NIALL HORAN

I didn't expect him to actually love me...

After the video Tyler showed me, I thought he was going to leave me as soon as he got enough attention from Selena.

I could still feel ??my heart beating fast from the shock I got...Justin loves me. He actually, truly loves me.

I'm just so torn, I'm not sure if I could ever trust him again. I'm not sure if I'm ready for it, after being with Tyler...i just feel like I can't.

Tyler put his hands on me and I just feel so dirty. I'm no longer good enough for Justin. I'm broken and I just can't do it.

But through everything that's happened, I still love Justin. He was the only guy that ever made me feel safe. And even if we never get back together, Justin will always be the love of my life.

THIRD PERSON

There was a knock on the door, and it opened, someone poked their head in.

"MUM!" Niall's smile at that moment, could've lighted up the world.

Maura's eyes lit up,"Hi Sweetie! How are you doing?" She asked.

"Uh..." Niall frowned,"I guess, I'm mostly fine." He nodded just to reassure her.

Maura let out a breath in relief,"I'm glad. And, once you get better, you do know you have to go to court, right?" She said grabbing a hold of Niall's hand,"You need to report what he did to you, all of it."

Niall took his hand away from his mother's grip and turned away,"I can't..."

Maura looked at him in surprise,"What do you mean you can't?"

Niall looked at his mother with sad eyes,"I-I don't think I can face him again, Mum."

Maura held onto Niall's hand with both of hers,"You can, honey. And you will. Because you're strong, you can do this." Maura's eyes started to water,"Y-you're Niall. You know how to p-pull through."

Niall nodded,"Thank you,Mum." He leaned in to give her a tight hug,"I love you so much."

"I love you too, sweetie." Maura sniffled and then pulled away,"What about you and Justin?"

Niall took in a breath,"We are taking a break, we-we thought that it would best at this moment." He said softly.

"Are you sure about that?"

Niall stayed silent, looking at his hands for a couple seconds, and then he looked straight into his moms eyes,

"I don't know."

-*-

They were in the living room, on the big couch, together.

"I don't know how you put up with me." Zayn sobbed into Liam's chest,"I'm a mess."

Liam rubbed Zayn's back,"I put up with you because I love you. And yes, you're a mess, but I don't care, Zayn. I'll put up with you and Evan, for my whole life if I have to. By now you should now, Zayn. I am never letting you go."

Zayn sniffled,"When did god bless me with an angel?"

Liam chuckled,"Are you ready to go see Niall now?"

Zayn looked up at Liam,"I don't know." he stood up and looked a himself,"I-I don't want him to see me like this. I think I'll go for a shower, yeah?"

"Yeah." Liam answered giving him a smile.

ZAYN MALIK (WHAT!? HOW!? :O)

I closed the door quietly behind me. I slowly twisted to nobs to get them to the right temperature before I sat down on the toilet and cried.

I hate this. I hate the multiple personality disorder. I hate Evan. But most of all, I hate me.

I'm a screw up. All I am is a burden to Liam. I'm getting in his way. He doesn't need me.

'He probably hates you, Zayn. You're in the way of his dreams.'

You're right.

I sobbed into my arms.

'Just let me take over.'

'It'll take the pain away.'

'You won't have to worry about a thing.'

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I yelled standing up,"GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!"

'Give it up, Zayn.'

"SHUT UP!" I blindly threw something at the mirror, making it shatter in pieces.

"ZAYN!?" I heard Liam's panicked voice yell from the other side of the door, he was knocking harshly.

'You take up to much of his time.'

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I yelled, my hands over my ears as I sobbed and skins down the wall to the floor, the glass surrounding me,"PLEASE STOP!"

"ZAYN! OPEN THE DOOR!!" Liam was hitting the door now.

'Let me take control.'

"ZAYN PLEASE! OPEN THE DOOR."

I wanted to...but I couldn't.

'Forget all the pain.'

"ZAYN, I KNOW HE'S TALKING TO YOU!"

'You won't get in his way.'

"DON'T LISTEN TO HIM."

'No more hurting the people you love.'

Liam's yells and pounds went to deaf to my ears and,

I let him take control.

____

I'm a horrible person.

But I really want to

CHANGE THE TITLE, ANY IDEAS?

Sorry for any mistakes.

Epilogue is next.

I'm not physically or mentally read for this.

OMG, I'm crying.

I love you, guys.

-Karla 💕